Surviving Your Own Thoughts

A blog I read recently struck a chord with me. The guy said “sometimes simply choosing how you’re going to live the day versus survive it can make all the difference.” Last week I woke up one morning and my first thought was that I couldn’t wait to be back in bed that night in my warm cocoon of flannel and cotton, ready to escape the world again. My second thought was how wrong my life must be to have had the first thought as my first thought of the day. If you’re contemplating the fast forward button like it’s your best friend, then it’s time to watch a different movie.

Nothing had even been particularly awful in my existence, I just didn’t want to deal with the myriad of responsibilities that await each waking moment of my current situation. I know we create our existence and if I didn’t like what was occurring all I had to do was create something else, but my mental musings seemed like just another addendum to my to do list. Sometimes I get it up here :points to head: but it’s harder to get it down here :points to heart:.

I did eventually, grudgingly, roll out of bed and carry on with the monotonous chores that plague my every day, but that morning’s initial thought really bothers me because I’m not sure how to resolve it. I have to work to earn money to pay the bills so we can continue to eat, be clothed, and sleep in a warm, safe place. If I don’t do it, no one else will, but not looking forward to what I do all day sucks and no matter how hard you want to change things, they don’t happen instantly unless you have some kind of supernatural powers.

:sigh: