there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase, each other
doesn’t make any sense.
-Rumi
I know it's been just shy of a month since I posted anything. Not that many people read my blog, but for those who may check in from time to time, I am still here, hanging out on the edge of our planet. My brain continues churning out writing ideas daily, but they are incomplete thoughts, scrawled quickly in notes on my desktop, both virtual and physical. My mantra has become "I shall get to it eventually." (Bad bad bad, but only because I make it so.)
I'd like to say my soul is lying in a beautiful field of warm grass, my world too full to talk about, but the truth is my spirit has been lollygagging in a bog of fear of non-survival. My regular salary is not covering the expense of beautiful San Diego, yet I am unwilling or unable to give up "things" (space, privacy, morals... haha) to reduce the outgoing; therefore, my other choice is to increase the incoming. I've been taking on side projects to make up the difference because even tho I'm aware of my foolishness, I'm still reluctant to just let go and allow something better to manifest. Stupid, isn't it? We all have our demons.
I'm fortunate in that at least I've had an abundance of extra work recently and eventually the money will start rolling in from that, giving me some breathing room. Of course the work has to get done first so that's just about all I've been doing. In the few moments of freedom I've stolen here and there, I've chosen meditation, friends, or simply sitting in the sun over writing. Hence, no blog posts.
It is what it is tho.
And what it is is all the same.
Duality is just a game.
Freedom from name, that's what I crave,
a retreat to the cave
of Self.
And I shall get to it eventually. :)
