I Am Grateful For So Many Choices

Jason Mraz posted today to promote help for organizations who are trying to end the underground slave trade that still survives in our society. I was going to just make a short comment on his blog post as I usually do, but I ended up writing so much I figured I'd post it here instead for anyone caring to read all that verbage. I don't like to fill up his comments with really long dissertations of my thoughts.

So the original post he made is HERE.

I put the first two paragraphs below in his comments, with a link back to here in case some wanted to read ALL my thoughts. I guess if you're not a fan of Mraz's blog, it's best to read his post before reading the rest of mine so you're not lost!

My complete reply is:

I agree with you, Jason, that education is so important - through education the slave trade will end itself. I believe it's better to get at the root of the problem to stop the growth, rather than simply alleviate the symptoms.

I am grateful for people who have the resources to do both - support education, AND support those willing to reach into the fire to extract the souls that may truly desire change - those that request help in switching directions on the path they're walking and then follow through. Thank you for being you and for using your voice wisely. :)

I know this will probably not be a popular opinion, but the girls that were "rescued" had a choice in the beginning to walk away from anything the pimps may have offered them. Why didn't they? I don't believe anyone enslaves anyone else. I believe people allow themselves to be enslaved, and then get in so deep they need help to get back out. It's like falling in a hole.

After reading/watching/hearing so much research on why people make "bad" choices, I have formed an opinion that perhaps it's a reaction to fear. Fear of lack, fear of non-survival, fear of non-acceptance from society. Except what our society doesn't really teach us in school is that we are not the ONLY society on this planet - our money-based lifestyle is not the only way to survive, and indeed is not even necessarily the "best" way (if there is one). There are plenty of indigenous cultures that live close to the Earth, without money, and they survive just fine (if we'd quit being such mega-land consumers!), and they are generally happier, more disease-free, and more balanced in their minds than our society is. Imagine that. The only reason our society doesn't see it this way is because they are different from us, and we have become intolerant to those that are labeled "different." So when people in our society turn to things like drugs or prostitution thinking this will fix their lives or their money problems, is it because they fear living closer to the Earth? Do they fear being different? Are they fearful of non-acceptance from the rest of our money-ridden society? Do they think they won't survive at all?

Fear is the disease. Gratitude is the cure. In the meantime, education promotes healing. Just my opinion.

To alleviate fear, I apply education. Book learning and internet research is great, but nothing beats real world experience. If you can't get real world experience, guess what? Imagination works just as well and sometimes even brings new things into existence! :) Experiencing how other societies live, learning what's good (or not) for your body & mind, knowing what practices promote health and which tear it down and then actually having the self-esteem to DO the things that make you happy and say no thanks to the things that lead down a fear-filled path - I wish that with a healthy dose of imagination for EVERYONE on Earth.

When I look at things like slave trade - or people we label as criminals in general - from another perspective, I find I am grateful to those folks because they show me a path I do NOT want to go down. They are the signposts that say "Here, there be dragons." (And seriously? When did dragons get such a bad reputation? Maybe they were just misunderstood! :) I've had some unfortunate experiences with criminals... I'm not saying it's fun, I'm saying if you lose, don't lose the lesson. Often I find the reason people have put on their victim t-shirt and continued spreading a negative story is because they forget to find what they wanted to learn from the experience, therefore they keep drawing negative experiences to themselves. There are no victims on our globe. We all have free will and we all make choices that affect our path. Even as children. Our choice may be as simple as deciding to change perspectives. Once I see any "bad" experience I may have from a learning perspective, it's easier to tuck away the knowledge and move on in my life to something better and happier.

Personally I believe God (or whatever label you choose) only sends us angels. Some of them are dark angels, but they are all angels nonetheless. Criminals are dark angels AND they serve a great purpose to those of us not wanting to walk their path. They help remind us to stay focused instead on happiness. I am so grateful for that.

Everyone has the capacity to think like this. They only need to be shown that there is more than one path to choose from. That's where education comes in. :)

Again - just my two pesos.

TSA Now Stands for Transient Sexual Assault?

Alternative title for this post: Scan This TSA :P

I'm so pissed now I don't even remember where this started. This is why I don't normally watch the news - it makes me mad, or sad, or generally puts me in a negative mood. I prefer to be happy and I'm pretty good at staying that way, but I also don't want to be blissfully ignorant as that is just as bad as being overly reactive. Things that are big news tend to make it onto my radar anyway, and this is no exception. I may be a little late to the party, but I definitely have something to contribute.

Whatever I was reading earlier, it gave a link to the blog containing the viral video uploaded by John Tyner in San Diego regarding his encounter with TSA recently. He "opted out" of being scanned in one of the new full-body scanners installed by airport security in the name of "fighting terrorism" (more like our government exercising terrorism on the public if you ask me), then stood up for his rights as an American citizen and refused to be groped in an alternative pat down by TSA personnel (John Tyner may be more well-known as the "Don't Touch My Junk" guy). Now Mr. Tyner may be facing a $10,000 fine even though he PEACEFULLY LEFT THE AIRPORT as he was told to do - simply because he would not "complete" the security check.

GOOD FOR HIM refusing to submit to the absolutely ridiculous new rules they've installed under the guise of safety. I admire a guy that is willing to give up a flight and vacation because he is not going to give up his rights to privacy and will not stand for being sexually assaulted in public at the airport just because "everyone else is doing it." I hope if they actually sue him, he sues them back and wins millions of dollars. He deserves it.

I already wrote quite a long missive in response to a comment from a friend on my Facebook page, so mostly I'm going to copy that here. I posted an article on my Facebook page about abolishing the TSA and basically my friend was asking why people are so uptight about the new security. He thought it was a good idea that we had better scanners. "What are they afraid of?" he asks. Here is my response:


What people are afraid of is losing the last of their shredded rights in this country. Our constitution is already looking like a cat took its claws to it. Every day we look more like a gilded Nazi concentration camp. At what level do they have to violate you before you say enough?

The porno factor of the scanners isn't the bigger issue (at least not for me). If you read about backscatter ionizing radiation, you'll find that being exposed once or twice might not cause much harm, but run yourself through those things once a day, as some business travelers do, or even a couple times a week, and you significantly up your chance of cancer and other DNA-malfunction type diseases. How convenient for the medical and pharmaceutical industries. (Also makes me wonder how the TSA agents that have to stand next to them all day will fare.) From Wikipedia on ionizing radiation: "It has many practical uses in medicine, research, construction, and other areas, but presents a health hazard if used improperly. Exposure to radiation causes damage to living tissue, and high doses can result in mutation, radiation sickness, cancer,[2], and death." The scanners do not use high doses, but depending how often you travel, you will get multiple doses and the radiation is cumulative. Radiation half-life is a crazy high number. The stuff lasts forever, which is why it accumulates instead of dissipating. Our bodies never heal from it because we don't live that long. That's why Chernobyl is still dangerous after how many years?

Add to it that the CEO (Michael Chertoff) [of Rapiscan - do you suppose they meant to spell it so it could sound like Rape-a-scan?] the company selling most of these machines used to be head of Homeland Security under Bush. Hmmm. What's the best way to get rich? Get into the gov, make a big scare, then retire to a nice little company that solves the problem of the scare. What do you think his bonus is going to look like next year? I'd say he'll profit quite a bit. [Does Halliburton ring any bells?]

Read a few more links and find out that the head of Israel's Tel Aviv airport security (Rafi Sela) thinks these scanners are ridiculous and that guy's got 30 years of successful security under his belt in an airport so tight Tupperware is jealous. In a country with REASON to be paranoid! And he's not using scanners. In fact, he boasts that he knows a way to get enough explosives through a scanner without detection that he could take down any 747. I think I'm gonna believe him and his 30 years of experience. So what's the REAL incentive for these scanners? I'd have to say it's pure profit for a bunch of governmental cronies. Same shit, different day. Just cuz the Bush administration doesn't occupy the White House en masse, doesn't mean friends aren't still wandering the halls and feeding the lobbyists.

Now suppose you opt out and choose to have a cheap thrill with a TSA agent instead. Why is it less illegal for them to grope you than if you chose to feel up a hot chick in Starbucks without her consent? You'd go to jail. Not TSA. Just because TSA is "authorized" (authorized BY WHO?? Not ME!!) doesn't make this right or ok. I don't authorize them to touch me anywhere, nor do I authorize my government to make that decision for me. I've put up with all the crap about taking off shoes and scanning laptops, but this is crossing the line - for a lot of people. That is not what America is about. Nor would I EVER say it's ok to teach your child: "Well it's not ok for anyone to touch you in private places... *except TSA.*" WTF is that about? NO. TSA may not touch me or my children (even tho she's already an adult) anywhere I think is inappropriate. EVER. Even police officers have to have a GOOD reason to pat you down that way, and certainly they must have reasonable cause to strip search you (which is basically what the scanner does). TSA apparently needs no reason at all. I will not ever think that's okay, and especially not under the farce of airport security.

Upon further reflection I recognize that perhaps initiating these measures plants the seed in American minds that none of us can trust each other. We all look at each other suspiciously at the gate (not to mention the subway, the sidewalk, local restaurants... I mean seriously!). We're all on alert in the plane for anything out of order. TSA is supposedly just doing their job when they give the extended pat down, grabbing groins and squeezing for boob bombs. Who's to say perverts won't seek out this particular job now just so they can legally grope people? Do you trust that all TSA personnel can be completely benign even with the hottest chick or guy that comes through their line? Yeah, right. You think TSA reps don't talk about the best/worst people they had to check that day? Please. Even if they're not perverts, they are HUMAN. And a background check might not even reveal if they ARE perverts if they've kept to themselves... until now. There also seems to be no distinction of female officers patting down females and males for the males. And which would be more uncomfortable anyway? (Just one more reason TSA has no business touching anyone like they've been instructed to.) It's not like prerequisites to work for TSA include summa cum laude college degrees. Most of the TSA employees I've encountered could just as easily be asking me if I want fries with that. Creating mistrust among the citizens makes us vulnerable, right? United we stand, divided we fall? The higher ups in government DO tend to have those smarty pants degrees. They've read the history books on how we won the Revolution, and how the North won the Civil War. They know strategy. They know what went wrong for the losing sides in the past and they're up on the technology of today. If the government wanted to create a situation to control everyone, making us mistrust each other is a good way to start. People who love power will do anything to have it and protect it. I can't think of a bigger body of people that love power than the American government.

And to that end, these scanners supposedly do not have the ability to save or transmit images, however, this article states that they absolutely can do both and shows images to prove it. So NOW what do you think the real agenda is behind all this? We already have microchips in our driver's licenses and passports (RFIDs) that can track us no matter where we are as long as we have our ID (and who travels anywhere without their drivers license?). The TSA also states on their site "As we rapidly deploy technology as it exists today, we are also exploring enhancements to it, such as Automated Target Recognition (ATR), or auto-detection software." Read: facial recognition software. Is the gov just gathering more data on every citizen it can until they have a giant database to track our every move? For what purpose? I don't think I want Big Brother knowing every detail of my day. Is this starting to look seriously like the movie Minority Report to anyone else? One can't speculate too long or you'll really have trouble sleeping.

You know what bothers me most? WE, THE TAXPAYERS, PAID FOR THIS BULLSHIT.  Direct quote from TSA's site:

"In March 2010, TSA began deploying 450 advanced imaging technology units, which were purchased with American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) funds."

The ARRA (according to its own site) has three immediate goals:

• Create new jobs and save existing ones
• Spur economic activity and invest in long-term growth
• Foster unprecedented levels of accountability and transparency in government spending

I don't see how this new security silliness fills any of those three main goals. And nowhere on the Recovery.gov site that is supposedly tracking the allocation of funds distributed under the ARRA does it say, "Legalize the sexual assault of millions of Americans (including children) trying to go about their daily business."

Keep in mind, these scanners and policies are mostly just at airports right now, but this is a transportation issue... eventually they plan to have these security rules implemented even in train stations, bus stations, large office buildings... everywhere.

And this is what's kept me from sleeping tonight... spending time educating myself about what's really going on, trying to see behind the curtain, as I wish ALL people would educate themselves and form their OWN opinion instead of just watching the news and jumping off a cliff after the big, stupid lemming that is Glenn Beck. (And I apologize to any lemmings I just offended.) I'm not fond of American journalism (with a few exceptions) because most of it is bent to say what our government would like us to hear. They don't necessarily lie (ok, some have made it a habit), but they do omit a lot of facts that might sway opinion unfavorably. You really have to read around to get the whole story (or at least a respectable bit of it). I recommend reading what the American Media Circus is saying and then ALSO reading media from Canada, BBC, or somewhere outside our own country that has a more objective perspective.

And in case that wasn't enough to keep you up too, try this video on for size:

C'mon People - Wake Up Already!

I was reading this article from a post on Facebook today:

Co-Founder of Veterans Group Not Surpised by Army Vet’s Rampage

I get the saying that "in order to retain peace, you must be prepared for war." But no one wins in war. NO ONE. Governments perpetuate the need for violence to serve their own purposes under the guise of serving the people. But how is it serving the people when veterans are treated like expendable property, asked to commit crimes against humanity, then left to deal with the demons created by the acts they are forced to perform? And yet, if we laid down arms, it doesn't mean Global Peace because we live in a bi-polar world where in order to define "good" we must have "bad." And each individual thinks the only "good" way to live is our own way, which means anything other than that individual's way (or group's way) is "bad." (How narcissistic.) The only solution to the problem is for all humans to transcend history and live only in the Now - acceptance and tolerance of all ways of life (live and let live, what a concept) - but how do you get 7 billion people to wake up at once? Until they do, you have situations like this. It's just a microcosm of the macrocosm.

How Would You Know?

I'm looking over some PDFs for a chemistry solutions book, and one of the solutions says:
When a particle is absolutely small it means that you cannot observe it without disturbing it.
When you observe the particle, it behaves differently than when you do not observe it.
How can they possibly know how it behaves when it's NOT observed, since knowing the answer to that would require that you observed something in the first place?! I know there is some scientific rationalization for things that are "not observed" but my Left Brain is going, "Wait... WHAT?!" and threatening to go all Blue Screen of Death* on me.
(Yes, you're right, my brain actually runs on Apple, but if it crashes I blame Microsloth like any other Mac Fanatic. :)
*Credit for BSOD graphic goes to Tully.

FBI Censored Austin Pilot Andrew Joseph Stack III Suicide Note

This is directly copied from johnstyn.com (who is an awesome guy) because I couldn't have written a more appropriate comment on the pilot's note and actions myself. I figure if I'm not already on half a dozen FBI witch hunt lists, then this will surely put me there. At least I'll be in good company when they come to arrest/silence us all.

I hope others will also repost Joseph Stack's note so that it does not go unread by the masses like our government would prefer. They have already forced even CNN to remove the page with the text on it. CNN!!! They are major news media - what about the first amendment? If this is not proof that our government controls our media, then I don't know what is.

This is important stuff people. This could be any one of us driven to this kind of frustration, altho we may not take the same kind of action. I know I've felt the long arm of the IRS (currently even), and the frustration of being hog tied in a system tailored to the rich and powerful. I am tired of Uncle Sam reaching into my wallet too. There is a place for government in our nation, but the people we've elected to power (with a handful of exceptions, because there are always exceptions to the rule) are corrupt and greedy and need to be replaced by those that are not. Unfortunately, those that are not don't stand a chance in the system as it is.

The Internet gives the people the power because there is communication. The government fears this because they know no matter how many Enron and Arthur Andersen and Halliburton execs there are, there are still MORE of us in the middle class, the ones they exploit. This is why they try to eliminate the truth from the public view, then force feed us what they want us to think on the news. That's what "spin doctors" are hired to do. But there won't be change without action. Reposting is the action I'm choosing for now.

FBI censor (suicide note repost with comments)

by halcyon on February 18, 2010

Domestic Terrorism is a tricky beast. It would be much easier to dismiss this plane crash if the pilot’s skin was brown and he followed the wrong god. Instead we can relate all-too-well to his soul-crushing frustration. Like a capitalist version of a burning monk, we have to look at the situation that would motivate such a drastic choice. A US citizen driven to ultimate frustration is much different than being attacked from 3rd world outsiders, “because they are jealous of us and our freedom.” His note is the sad final squeak from someone who has lost his voice from a lifetime of complaining to deaf ears. Do i approve of his actions? Of course not. Nor do I approve of any act of terrorism. But I do think there is value in trying to understand the frustration that can lead to such drastic measures.

History shows that every oppressed people has a tipping point that pushes them to action: Be that slave revolt, Declaration of Independence, or suicide bombing.

The FBI has removed his note from the web. I am re-posting it below.

Joe Stack’s suicide note: (now censored from his site)

If you’re reading this, you’re no doubt asking yourself, “Why did this have to happen?” The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time. The writing process, started many months ago, was intended to be therapy in the face of the looming realization that there isn’t enough therapy in the world that can fix what is really broken. Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head. Exactly what is therapeutic about that I’m not sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

We are all taught as children that without laws there would be no society, only anarchy. Sadly, starting at early ages we in this country have been brainwashed to believe that, in return for our dedication and service, our government stands for justice for all. We are further brainwashed to believe that there is freedom in this place, and that we should be ready to lay our lives down for the noble principals represented by its founding fathers. Remember? One of these was “no taxation without representation”. I have spent the total years of my adulthood unlearning that crap from only a few years of my childhood. These days anyone who really stands up for that principal is promptly labeled a “crackpot”, traitor and worse.

While very few working people would say they haven’t had their fair share of taxes (as can I), in my lifetime I can say with a great degree of certainty that there has never been a politician cast a vote on any matter with the likes of me or my interests in mind. Nor, for that matter, are they the least bit interested in me or anything I have to say.

Why is it that a handful of thugs and plunderers can commit unthinkable atrocities (and in the case of the GM executives, for scores of years) and when it’s time for their gravy train to crash under the weight of their gluttony and overwhelming stupidity, the force of the full federal government has no difficulty coming to their aid within days if not hours? Yet at the same time, the joke we call the American medical system, including the drug and insurance companies, are murdering tens of thousands of people a year and stealing from the corpses and victims they cripple, and this country’s leaders don’t see this as important as bailing out a few of their vile, rich cronies. Yet, the political “representatives” (thieves, liars, and self-serving scumbags is far more accurate) have endless time to sit around for year after year and debate the state of the “terrible health care problem”. It’s clear they see no crisis as long as the dead people don’t get in the way of their corporate profits rolling in.

And justice? You’ve got to be kidding!

How can any rational individual explain that white elephant conundrum in the middle of our tax system and, indeed, our entire legal system? Here we have a system that is, by far, too complicated for the brightest of the master scholars to understand. Yet, it mercilessly “holds accountable” its victims, claiming that they’re responsible for fully complying with laws not even the experts understand. The law “requires” a signature on the bottom of a tax filing; yet no one can say truthfully that they understand what they are signing; if that’s not “duress” than what is. If this is not the measure of a totalitarian regime, nothing is.

How did I get here?

My introduction to the real American nightmare starts back in the early ‘80s. Unfortunately after more than 16 years of school, somewhere along the line I picked up the absurd, pompous notion that I could read and understand plain English. Some friends introduced me to a group of people who were having ‘tax code’ readings and discussions. In particular, zeroed in on a section relating to the wonderful “exemptions” that make institutions like the vulgar, corrupt Catholic Church so incredibly wealthy. We carefully studied the law (with the help of some of the “best”, high-paid, experienced tax lawyers in the business), and then began to do exactly what the “big boys” were doing (except that we weren’t steeling from our congregation or lying to the government about our massive profits in the name of God). We took a great deal of care to make it all visible, following all of the rules, exactly the way the law said it was to be done.

The intent of this exercise and our efforts was to bring about a much-needed re-evaluation of the laws that allow the monsters of organized religion to make such a mockery of people who earn an honest living. However, this is where I learned that there are two “interpretations” for every law; one for the very rich, and one for the rest of us… Oh, and the monsters are the very ones making and enforcing the laws; the inquisition is still alive and well today in this country.

That little lesson in patriotism cost me $40,000+, 10 years of my life, and set my retirement plans back to 0. It made me realize for the first time that I live in a country with an ideology that is based on a total and complete lie. It also made me realize, not only how naive I had been, but also the incredible stupidity of the American public; that they buy, hook, line, and sinker, the crap about their “freedom”… and that they continue to do so with eyes closed in the face of overwhelming evidence and all that keeps happening in front of them.

Before even having to make a shaky recovery from the sting of the first lesson on what justice really means in this country (around 1984 after making my way through engineering school and still another five years of “paying my dues”), I felt I finally had to take a chance of launching my dream of becoming an independent engineer.

On the subjects of engineers and dreams of independence, I should digress somewhat to say that I’m sure that I inherited the fascination for creative problem solving from my father. I realized this at a very young age.

The significance of independence, however, came much later during my early years of college; at the age of 18 or 19 when I was living on my own as student in an apartment in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My neighbor was an elderly retired woman (80+ seemed ancient to me at that age) who was the widowed wife of a retired steel worker. Her husband had worked all his life in the steel mills of central Pennsylvania with promises from big business and the union that, for his 30 years of service, he would have a pension and medical care to look forward to in his retirement. Instead he was one of the thousands who got nothing because the incompetent mill management and corrupt union (not to mention the government) raided their pension funds and stole their retirement. All she had was social security to live on.

In retrospect, the situation was laughable because here I was living on peanut butter and bread (or Ritz crackers when I could afford to splurge) for months at a time. When I got to know this poor figure and heard her story I felt worse for her plight than for my own (I, after all, I thought I had everything to in front of me). I was genuinely appalled at one point, as we exchanged stories and commiserated with each other over our situations, when she in her grandmotherly fashion tried to convince me that I would be “healthier” eating cat food (like her) rather than trying to get all my substance from peanut butter and bread. I couldn’t quite go there, but the impression was made. I decided that I didn’t trust big business to take care of me, and that I would take responsibility for my own future and myself.

Return to the early ‘80s, and here I was off to a terrifying start as a ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ contract software engineer… and two years later, thanks to the fine backroom, midnight effort by the sleazy executives of Arthur Andersen (the very same folks who later brought us Enron and other such calamities) and an equally sleazy New York Senator (Patrick Moynihan), we saw the passage of 1986 tax reform act with its section 1706.

For you who are unfamiliar, here is the core text of the IRS Section 1706, defining the treatment of workers (such as contract engineers) for tax purposes. Visit this link for a conference committee report (http://www.synergistech.com/1706.shtml#ConferenceCommitteeReport) regarding the intended interpretation of Section 1706 and the relevant parts of Section 530, as amended. For information on how these laws affect technical services workers and their clients, read our discussion here (http://www.synergistech.com/ic-taxlaw.shtml).

SEC. 1706. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN TECHNICAL PERSONNEL.

(a) IN GENERAL – Section 530 of the Revenue Act of 1978 is amended by adding at the end thereof the following new subsection:

(d) EXCEPTION. – This section shall not apply in the case of an individual who pursuant to an arrangement between the taxpayer and another person, provides services for such other person as an engineer, designer, drafter, computer programmer, systems analyst, or other similarly skilled worker engaged in a similar line of work.

(b) EFFECTIVE DATE. – The amendment made by this section shall apply to remuneration paid and services rendered after December 31, 1986.

Note:

· “another person” is the client in the traditional job-shop relationship.

· “taxpayer” is the recruiter, broker, agency, or job shop.

· “individual”, “employee”, or “worker” is you.

Admittedly, you need to read the treatment to understand what it is saying but it’s not very complicated. The bottom line is that they may as well have put my name right in the text of section (d). Moreover, they could only have been more blunt if they would have came out and directly declared me a criminal and non-citizen slave. Twenty years later, I still can’t believe my eyes.

During 1987, I spent close to $5000 of my ‘pocket change’, and at least 1000 hours of my time writing, printing, and mailing to any senator, congressman, governor, or slug that might listen; none did, and they universally treated me as if I was wasting their time. I spent countless hours on the L.A. freeways driving to meetings and any and all of the disorganized professional groups who were attempting to mount a campaign against this atrocity. This, only to discover that our efforts were being easily derailed by a few moles from the brokers who were just beginning to enjoy the windfall from the new declaration of their “freedom”. Oh, and don’t forget, for all of the time I was spending on this, I was loosing income that I couldn’t bill clients.

After months of struggling it had clearly gotten to be a futile exercise. The best we could get for all of our trouble is a pronouncement from an IRS mouthpiece that they weren’t going to enforce that provision (read harass engineers and scientists). This immediately proved to be a lie, and the mere existence of the regulation began to have its impact on my bottom line; this, of course, was the intended effect.

Again, rewind my retirement plans back to 0 and shift them into idle. If I had any sense, I clearly should have left abandoned engineering and never looked back.

Instead I got busy working 100-hour workweeks. Then came the L.A. depression of the early 1990s. Our leaders decided that they didn’t need the all of those extra Air Force bases they had in Southern California, so they were closed; just like that. The result was economic devastation in the region that rivaled the widely publicized Texas S&L fiasco. However, because the government caused it, no one gave a shit about all of the young families who lost their homes or street after street of boarded up houses abandoned to the wealthy loan companies who received government funds to “shore up” their windfall. Again, I lost my retirement.

Years later, after weathering a divorce and the constant struggle trying to build some momentum with my business, I find myself once again beginning to finally pick up some speed. Then came the .COM bust and the 911 nightmare. Our leaders decided that all aircraft were grounded for what seemed like an eternity; and long after that, ‘special’ facilities like San Francisco were on security alert for months. This made access to my customers prohibitively expensive. Ironically, after what they had done the Government came to the aid of the airlines with billions of our tax dollars … as usual they left me to rot and die while they bailed out their rich, incompetent cronies WITH MY MONEY! After these events, there went my business but not quite yet all of my retirement and savings.

By this time, I’m thinking that it might be good for a change. Bye to California, I’ll try Austin for a while. So I moved, only to find out that this is a place with a highly inflated sense of self-importance and where damn little real engineering work is done. I’ve never experienced such a hard time finding work. The rates are 1/3 of what I was earning before the crash, because pay rates here are fixed by the three or four large companies in the area who are in collusion to drive down prices and wages… and this happens because the justice department is all on the take and doesn’t give a fuck about serving anyone or anything but themselves and their rich buddies.

To survive, I was forced to cannibalize my savings and retirement, the last of which was a small IRA. This came in a year with mammoth expenses and not a single dollar of income. I filed no return that year thinking that because I didn’t have any income there was no need. The sleazy government decided that they disagreed. But they didn’t notify me in time for me to launch a legal objection so when I attempted to get a protest filed with the court I was told I was no longer entitled to due process because the time to file ran out. Bend over for another $10,000 helping of justice.

So now we come to the present. After my experience with the CPA world, following the business crash I swore that I’d never enter another accountant’s office again. But here I am with a new marriage and a boatload of undocumented income, not to mention an expensive new business asset, a piano, which I had no idea how to handle. After considerable thought I decided that it would be irresponsible NOT to get professional help; a very big mistake.

When we received the forms back I was very optimistic that they were in order. I had taken all of the years information to Bill Ross, and he came back with results very similar to what I was expecting. Except that he had neglected to include the contents of Sheryl’s unreported income; $12,700 worth of it. To make matters worse, Ross knew all along this was missing and I didn’t have a clue until he pointed it out in the middle of the audit. By that time it had become brutally evident that he was representing himself and not me.

This left me stuck in the middle of this disaster trying to defend transactions that have no relationship to anything tax-related (at least the tax-related transactions were poorly documented). Things I never knew anything about and things my wife had no clue would ever matter to anyone. The end result is… well, just look around.

I remember reading about the stock market crash before the “great” depression and how there were wealthy bankers and businessmen jumping out of windows when they realized they screwed up and lost everything. Isn’t it ironic how far we’ve come in 60 years in this country that they now know how to fix that little economic problem; they just steal from the middle class (who doesn’t have any say in it, elections are a joke) to cover their asses and it’s “business-as-usual”. Now when the wealthy fuck up, the poor get to die for the mistakes… isn’t that a clever, tidy solution.

As government agencies go, the FAA is often justifiably referred to as a tombstone agency, though they are hardly alone. The recent presidential puppet GW Bush and his cronies in their eight years certainly reinforced for all of us that this criticism rings equally true for all of the government. Nothing changes unless there is a body count (unless it is in the interest of the wealthy sows at the government trough). In a government full of hypocrites from top to bottom, life is as cheap as their lies and their self-serving laws.

I know I’m hardly the first one to decide I have had all I can stand. It has always been a myth that people have stopped dying for their freedom in this country, and it isn’t limited to the blacks, and poor immigrants. I know there have been countless before me and there are sure to be as many after. But I also know that by not adding my body to the count, I insure nothing will change. I choose to not keep looking over my shoulder at “big brother” while he strips my carcass, I choose not to ignore what is going on all around me, I choose not to pretend that business as usual won’t continue; I have just had enough.

I can only hope that the numbers quickly get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt; it will take nothing less. I would only hope that by striking a nerve that stimulates the inevitable double standard, knee-jerk government reaction that results in more stupid draconian restrictions people wake up and begin to see the pompous political thugs and their mindless minions for what they are. Sadly, though I spent my entire life trying to believe it wasn’t so, but violence not only is the answer, it is the only answer. The cruel joke is that the really big chunks of shit at the top have known this all along and have been laughing, at and using this awareness against, fools like me all along.

I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different. I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well.

The communist creed: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed.

Joe Stack (1956-2010)

02/18/2010

Doesn't ANYONE Keep a Promise Anymore?

I wrote this a few days ago, but got called away from the computer and therefore never posted it. Story of my life. Better late than never tho I guess. :)

One of the reasons I voted for Obama was something most would probably deem insignificant in the big picture, however, it was important to me. Obama promised that if he won the election, his daughters (Sasha and Malia) would be able to get a new puppy to take to the White House. What was important though, was that he said they would pick a puppy from a humane society. Personally, that said something to me about what kind of person I was voting for. More so than the debates and speeches on economic reform and environmental improvements and international relations. I thought if this person takes his good deeds down to the details like that, that is the man I want running my country. Silly me thinking that ANY politician was trustworthy in any sense of the word.

The Obamas did indeed get a dog for their kids, but it was a pure-bred Portuguese water dog - a gift from Senator Ted Kennedy, NOT a pound puppy. You can read the Chicago Tribune article here, confirming that the dog is not, in fact, a rescue case.

Obamas' dog: Meet Bo, the Portuguese water dog

They say it's the dog's fourth home as if that's supposed to make up for something. Let's count these homes: 1. The Breeder; 2. A Family That Didn't Keep Their Commitment To The Dog; 3. A Trainer Related To The Breeder; 4. The White House. I hardly classify that as a hardship case or anything close to a good mutt about to be put down because there are ALREADY TOO MANY PETS ON THE PLANET, thanks to selfish people that breed animals for profit. What kind of messed up society cringes at the thought of selling babies on a black market, but thinks the same transaction is ok if you have four legs? I believe I smell a pile of poop. Not that I have a strong opinion on this or anything.

To most Americans, this will seem the very least of sins when talking about broken campaign promises. To me though, this says something huge about a) his character and/or b) his inability to make his own decisions, either because he's really just a media puppet or because he simply didn't care enough to stand up for what he originally wanted. I honestly don't know which scenario offends me most.

I understand the dog was a gift, and not only is it rude to refuse a gift, but had he done so it would've been a different kind of media circus altogether - especially since it concerns the Kennedys. On the other hand, I have NEVER believed it is a good idea to give animals as gifts (what were the Kennedys thinking?). Animals are not gifts, they are living beings that should be as carefully considered as if you were having a child. Would you give a child as a gift to a couple who mentioned they were trying to have one? I think not. (And considering the original family that returned the dog to the breeder, would you return an adopted child just because he/she didn't live up to your expectations? Please.)

Obama had the opportunity to change THOUSANDS of animals' lives by following through with his promise to get a pound dog. Such is celebrity. He totally blew it. The fact that they made a contribution to a local shelter does not bring the type of media that adopting a shelter animal would have. (Not to mention the media mostly glossed over that donation - I have yet to find out exactly how much they contributed, but my guess is that even if it was truly significant, it will never have the impact an adoption would've had.)

Let's not even talk about how this will jack up the demand for that particular breed, probably causing another "Dalmation Sensation" like what happened after 101 Dalmations was released. (Months after the release of the movie, hundreds of Dalmations turned up in shelters as unwanted pets. Guess no one did their research and read about how hyper they are, or how hard they are to train due to hearing difficulties before running right out to get that puppy for their kids, who lost interest about 10 seconds after they named the pup.) CNN's article here mentioned how the hits to the Portuguese Water Dog Club's web site went up to a million hits an hour after the announcement. A MILLION HITS AN HOUR. Most were probably only looking for info on the breed because it is not widely known, but if even one percent of those people end up buying a dog from a breeder - DO THE MATH, then watch the shelters in 6-12 months.

I said before he was elected that I knew I would not agree with everything he did, and that you don't get to be a politician in that position without having some skeletons in your closet, but I really didn't see this one coming.

HUGE HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT.

~*~

In happier news, Hopi has decided to stick with us. A few days after I posted about her lethargy and lack of appetite, she turned it around and came all the way back to normal. She's a tough fuzzy cookie and I'm glad she decided to stay awhile longer. :)

More news: Apparently even tho I ran all the way across the country as fast as I could, the economy has caught up with me. I was laid off two weeks ago from my job, so now I have the opportunity to find something I really enjoy doing. Trouble is, searching for that something ranks right up there with visits to the dentist in my book. I suppose this is my next lesson in Acceptance, not only of the situation, but of myself. Quiz on Friday.

I feel like this is a crappy post and not as well thought out as usual - certainly not as amusing and witty - but there it is. It is still gorgeous here in San Diego every day. It still smells like vacation to me. And I am still super lucky to live here. I mean if I have to go find a job and subject myself to the critical eye of those that I could probably run circles around (Hey! Who let Ego out of Its box?!), at least I'll be knocking on doors in Paradise.

Hmmm... I wonder if that snake needs any help talking people into eating apples? That would be fun.

Rock The Vote

It’s no secret that I will vote for Obama. Not because I’m some kind of tried and true Democrat - in fact, back in college, I was registered with the Young Republicans thanks to one of my friends who was actually in school to learn something. Somewhere between invading the Sigma Nu house and my roommate’s “How to make a beer can bong” lessons, my good friend slapped me upside the head and said "Hey! Pay attention! This shit is important to more than my Poly Sci degree!" Don’t worry, we finally returned the favor by corrupting her with alcohol, but it wasn’t easy.

I was a registered Repub right up until BushCo started wiping its crack with our planet. After a couple years of peering through increasingly polluted waters, I decided swimming to the other side was the only splash I could make to show my disapproval of where the Republican party was headed, so even tho I don’t agree with ALL of the Democratic platform, that’s what I choose for now.

If the truth be known, I think wisdom for our country lies somewhere in the harmony of the two parties – but since our nation dearly loves to “create sides” and uphold them, voting down the middle often renders your voice mute. Seeing both sides from a center position, however, gives great perspective in my opinion. Obama has some experience at being in the middle of opposing views (examples: Muslim vs. Christianity, black vs. white) so I think he will do more good than harm not only for our nation, but for the Globe.

Did you know George Washington is the only elected President we’ve had that was not affiliated with a political party? In fact, most of our founding fathers were opposed to political parties and never intended for them to be part of our government. But I digress.

Recently, a copy of John F. Kennedy’s book Profiles in Courage came into my hands. I thought it might be worth something on eBay since it’s older than me, but turns out it’s not. Instead of selling it, I started reading it. I am amazed at how relevant the words still are, especially in these last couple months leading up to Our Big Election. Check this out:

This is a book about that most admirable of human virtues – courage. “Grace under pressure,” Ernest Hemingway defined it. …

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or reward that quality in its chosen leaders today – and in fact we have forgotten. We may remember how John Quincy Adams became President through the political schemes of Henry Clay, but we have forgotten how, as a young man, he gave up a promising Senatorial career to stand by the nation. We may remember Daniel Webster for his subservience to the National Bank throughout much of his career, but we have forgotten his sacrifice for the national good at the close of that career. We do not remember, and possibly we do not care.

“People don’t give a damn,” a syndicated columnist told millions of readers not so many years ago, “what the average Senator or Congressman says. The reason they don’t care is that they know what you hear in Congress is 99% tripe, ignorance and demagoguery and not to be relied upon…”

Earlier a member of the Cabinet had recorded in his diary:

While I am reluctant to believe in the total depravity of the Senate, I place but little dependence on the honesty and truthfulness of a large portion of the Senators. A majority of them are small lights, mentally weak, and wholly unfit to be Senators. Some are vulgar demagogues… some are men of wealth who have purchased their position… [some are] men of narrow intellect, limited comprehension, and low partisan prejudice…”

And still earlier a member of the Senate itself told his colleagues that “the confidence of the people is departing from us, owing to our unreasonable delays.”

The Senate knows that many Americans today share these sentiments. Senators, we hear, must be politicians – and politicians must be concerned only with winning votes, not with statesmanship or courage. Mothers may still want their favorite sons to grow up to be President, but, according to a famous Gallup poll of some years ago, they do not want them to become politicians in the process.

Does this current rash of criticism and disrespect mean the quality of the Senate has declined? Certainly not. For all the three statements quoted above, the first was made in the twentieth century, the second in the nineteenth century, and the third in the eighteenth (when the first Senate, barely underway, was debating where the Capitol should be located).

The first copyright listed in the front of the book is 1955. Are these paragraphs still completely relevant to today’s political arena, in yet another century? You bet they are. On the next page, JFK asks, “Does it mean then, that the Senate can no longer boast of men of courage?”

My answer up until last year may have been different, but now I’d say we are down, but don’t count us out just yet.

I don’t think Barack is the next JFK (and if he’s elected, I REALLY hope he’s not!). However, my intuition says he has some admirable core character qualities that shine through the bullshit of politics. He is probably going to make policies I don’t agree with during his term, and perhaps there will even be a point when I think "I can't believe I voted for this." However, OVERALL I believe he is a man of courage; grace under pressure; FINALLY A BAD ASS PRESIDENT. And I pray we are NOT a nation that has forgotten the quality of courage because God knows we need it now more than ever.

Make sure you get yourself to the polls today and vote. People died so you could have that right. Don't waste it. And never assume it's already wrapped up just because Obama is ahead in the polls. As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over til it's over!"

A Croc Confession

When people started wearing Crocs - the latest couture horror - out in public I thought it was a joke. Or perhaps they didn't have time to change before leaving the garden on an urgent mission to Target to procure more unconscious synthetic crap cranked out with slave labor from the parts of China not covered by carefully-monitored and censored Olympics cameras. One can excuse a social misstep now and again, and certainly I am no slave to the fashion trade.
When I realized that it was actually a growing fad, I vowed never to allow such repulsive things that will surely become a pop culture faux paux the likes of neon spandex or Jellies (::shudder::) within 100 yards (that's .09 kilometers for my Metric friends) of my closet. And although the manufacturer claims they are NOT plastic, I contend that because the company is loathe to reveal their process by which the "proprietary" closed cell resin (PCCR) is formed, that's as good as plastic to me. Either way, it's some chemicalized unnatural mutant bastardization of fossil fuels that will probably end up being a layer all its own in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I feel the ocean temp rise a degree and the air become more unbreathable and polar ice caps melt and I'm quite sure at least 10 animal species going extinct every time my eyes are unfortunate enough to meet a pair of these biped disasters.
However... I have said before - recently even - how curiosity will kill Schroedinger's cat. Perhaps I should change my blog's name to "Here Kitty Kitty."
The truth is I tried a pair of these on the other day because they were at TJ Maxx for really cheap and they were the actual Crocs brand (as if that should even matter, but sometimes Ego is my shopping buddy - I can't help it). I had to know WTF everyone is so thrilled about with this hideous footwear that a large display had even invaded my organic supermarket. Organic supermarket - as in humans who shop there are generally the kind that think about ecology and the suffering of Our Tiny Blue Marble and try to do the right things to balance their carbon footprint. These organic, eco-minded mortals are not only wearing, but promoting offensive plastic shoes! How can this be? What kind of evil spell did Crocs cast on the population? Are we Hooked despite the ticking of the ecological time bomb we play on?

(Yes, I Photoshopped that myself, thank you very much. Socks with Crocs tho? Tsk tsk Captain Hook.)
The Crocs looked at me from the shelf like a street whore smiles at Hugh Grant. (Don't get me wrong, I love Hugh and could listen to that voice all day long. But when IS he doing another movie? Hey Hugh, stop faffing about the UK and get on with it already!) I passed by them three times sneaking glances out of the corner of my eye before I finally confronted myself and admitted I wanted to know what they could do for me. They were an ugly plain white (like someone forgot to drop the color pod in the vat or something), but they were my size. Even before my feet knew the wicked ways of this foamy footwear, I started rationalizing that the original idea of gardening shoes was not a bad one because you can hose them off without ruining them. Maybe plastic is good in moderation? (Like Americans even know the definition of that word. Moderation, silly - not "plastic"!) I mean look at the iPod. That's definitely worth some landfill, right?
There was no one to witness my temporary insanity, so dammit, I slipped my feet into them, just for kicks...
...and like Snow White's stupidity in taking unpackaged, inorganic fruit from strangers, I found they were the most comfortable things I have ever walked on. It was like having a medium-density sponge floor everywhere I went, and I could instantly see why any professional that's on their feet all day (read: nurses in particular) would immediately adopt these as The Most Important Part of Their Wardrobe. I've heard companies claim that wearing their shoes is like walking on a cloud, but this is the only thing I've ever experienced that lived up to that analogy.
My logical self quickly shoved all that aside and reminded me sternly that a pair of these in my house would not only create an eyesore, but crow would be What's for Dinner for a very long time when my friends found out. My brain also assured me that Scientists would probably release some study any day now that reported all sorts of back problems or foot deformities or other maladies attributed to overuse of these unsightly slabs. My resistance was further aided by this particular pair's painfully boring color - no wonder they made it all the way to the discount store. (And even so, my sinful brain wheedles that the particular shade of cauliflower vomit I was perusing resembles a blank canvas begging for Sharpie markers.) I did notice a more acceptable basic brown pair, but only a tiny Asian woman would've fit in them. I'm small, but not Asian.
I escaped my experience without fouling my recyclable canvas shopping bag with their presence, but the memory of walking in them lingers like a permanent virus. I even considered them AGAIN in another store because there was a display with every color known to man (and some certainly not of this Earth - see grotesque pic above), but they were ridiculously expensive and if I wanted to taste that much feathery guilt, I resolved to at least smother it in economics.
So I came home to write this blog entry but my fairness gene kicked in, and I was compelled to look up what my fellow Hippie TreeHuggers (as Rich, my former neighbor in New Jersey called me) are saying about them. Okay, okay, it wasn't really the fairness gene - it was the "how much dirt can I dig up to make the argument of how these things suck" gene. I'm not sure these squeaky sandals stay as clean as I'd like.
Here's what I learned:

• Crocs originated as footwear for boating purposes; the gardening people adopted them shortly after, followed by every knock-off company and Walmart shopper around the globe. To me, the boating thing is bad. These on boats = more plastic ending up in oceans/lakes (whether it's by accident or drunken college prank) and will contribute to the downfall of fish & wildlife (not to mention us!) unless ALL boaters are responsible human beings - AS IF.
• They're easily cleaned, antimicrobial (Hey Jess! There's that big word I know!), and they don't hold smells (mostly... so claims the Croc FAQs which are neatly hidden under the Contact link because what responsible consumer will want to know what they're buying and how it effects our planet?), so for fishing purposes I can see the benefits (except for that fish guts/smelly water/beer spills going right through the holes thing), but again, too close to our fresh water sources to justify them as good boat wear.
• Obviously, they won't be ruined by water (As in they'll NEVER biodegrade - like EVER! Future archeologists will love that!), unlike the last fabulously dated 80s boating footwear of choice: Docksiders. (And damn if I didn't see someone wearing those just yesterday! Do they still sell those or does that dude have a couple hundred pairs stashed in his closet?)
• Wikipedia finally provided a more satisfying answer of what Crocs are made of: ethylene vinyl acetate. Like I said, PLASTIC. (Thank you very much. Yes, I DO love to be right.) Then I read that this same material is used in biomedical engineering applications such as drug delivery service. (I'm not talking about pharmacies with a pizza guy.) Hmmm, maybe that's good? Or NOT: "The polymer is dissolved in an organic solvent (e.g., methylene chloride)." Methylene chloride, by the way, is "a colorless, volatile liquid with a moderately sweet aroma. It is widely used as a solvent, the general view being that it is one of the less harmful of the chlorocarbons." Chlorocarbons are nonaqueous, meaning they do not dissolve in water. Our bodies are mostly water. Chlorocarbons are also "usually denser than water, due to the presence of heavy chlorine atoms." (Mmmm, chlorine. Are you feeling healthier yet?) So these chlorocarbons are less harmful than what? Cancer? And when was the last time it was good to put something volatile in your body? But I digress... "[ethylene vinyl acetate] devices are used in drug delivery research to slowly release a compound over time. While the polymer is not biodegradable within the body, it is quite inert and causes little or no reaction following implantation." IT'S NOT BIODEGRADABLE WITHIN THE BODY - or anywhere for that matter. (Ha! Right again!) Just because a drug-delivering polymer is "quite inert" I don't think I want to be carrying that around the rest of my life. And where is the study that proves it causes little or no reaction? Define little! But again I digress... it's not like I'll be eating a pair of Crocs anytime soon. Although they do cover that question in the FAQs! ::rolls eyes:: So perhaps that is valuable information for those of you who own pit bulls.
• Crocs, Inc. is at least TRYING to be responsible to our Ecosystem by forming a recycling program (www.solesunited.com) that allows you (read: those of us that are aware and responsible, which in no way implies all of mankind) to drop off "used up" Crocs at a local shoe retailer so they can be returned to the company, chopped up, melted down, and re-molded into hundreds of thousands of new pairs of Earth Death for people in third world countries. Just watch their heartwarming video to erase all your eco-guilt. While I acknowledge the noble attempt of We Shoe the World, I have to question whether said barefoot indigents mind their soles being connected with Earth at all times. I mean, some people consider that a good thing. The old-school Australian Aborigines wouldn't have it any other way. Also, if you do the math, the amount of Americans alone who probably own - or have misplaced/trashed/otherwise lost track of - more than one pair, including knock-offs that are NOT recyclable, negate any positive outcome of Imelda Goes Global.

So caveat emptor my Planetary Peoples. Memory is still arguing its case before the jury in my head because the damn things really are just THAT comfortable. But I don't think the Logical Left Brain (which controls the eco-side of me, if not the impulse purchases) is buying it. Perhaps there's something injected into that toxic foamy comfortableness that's instantly absorbed into your bloodstream and causes DNA mutation and separation anxiety so you can't stop thinking about them. I'll keep you posted.

~*~
If plastic shoes are not enough to scare the eco-lovin' shit out of you, read these unrelated links I came across in researching what Crocs are made of:
Post: In Answer To Dr. Hood- Fat & Chemical Storage- Doug Haney
http://toxlaw.com/chatboards/toxboard/topic4752/1.27.04.23.42.50.html
US Patent 6835390 - Method for producing tissue engineered meat for consumption
http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/6835390/fulltext.html
I think I just became an overnight vegetarian.

Wrapping Up 2007

Random thoughts (that went long):

I had to put Earl down a couple days ago. It sucked balls, as expected, and I cried so hard I have another headache just thinking about it. It was better than looking at him suffering though, which he started to do the night before. I wish I could’ve taken him in right then because watching his ragged breathing was awful, but Oradell Animal Hospital’s Emergency service is the most ridiculous bunch of BS I’ve ever regretfully dealt with in the past. They won’t let you be with the animal when it’s put down, the doctors are condescending, and for all that they charge you out the ass. No. I won't have it. It’s selfish that I made Earl wait 6 hours until my regular vet opened, but I just couldn’t let him die alone from a hand that didn’t give a shit, and then be in debt for it. NO. NO. NO.

As it was, Dr. Welch wasn’t at Franklin Lakes A.H. when I went in and Dr. Kozak was the one to play Grim Reaper. Fitting, since she’s the one who broke my dog when we took Jazz in for X-Rays (Jazz came home with cold tail, which is caused by overworking a dog's muscles). I wasn’t thrilled, especially since she charged me for an office visit simply because I wanted to be with Earl when she put him under (that would’ve never happened with Dr. Welch), but I figured she can’t possibly fuck up killing an animal.

He’s at peace now though, whole and perfect again, and not in any pain. I hope Zeus was kind enough to meet him at the bridge and help him get acquainted with the new existence.

Edwyn, his cagemate, seems unaffected for the most part, except that he’s taken to scaring the shit out of me by sleeping entirely on his side with his big ol’ feet sticking straight out like he’s dead. I wonder if he thinks it’s a joke. Wilbur did the same thing to me, but only once. Edwyn's been doing it daily. I tried pushing Edwyn’s and Wilbur’s cages closer together, hoping maybe the two wimps (I say that affectionately) of my chinchilla herd would get along and live together, but they spent a good 30 minutes posturing and biting the bars between them, erping threats across the divide. There’s nothing funnier than pissed off fuzzy rats. How can something that cute get so mad?

~*~

Everywhen is my new favorite word. I found it today in a Wikipedia description of “Dreaming” as defined by Australian Aborigines. What can I say? One click leads to another. I’m not even sure how I got there, but it’s been an interesting read.

Credit for coining the term goes to Emeritus Professor W.E.H. “Bill” Stanner (1905-1981), an anthropologist I fully intend to check out further.

“He coined the terms the "Great Australian Silence" and "everywhen" in the 1968 Boyer Lectures titled "After the Dreaming", reflecting on the silence on Indigenous Australians in Australian history after white settlement.”

Go Bill!

As I read more about this exclusion of the Aborigines' story from Australia’s historical accounts, I see the root of the problem is that the Aborigines were basically ignored as if they weren’t even there when the British were writing the history books - and the legal books - for Australia. Sound familiar Native Americans? How ‘bout you Maoris? WTF? Was I sleeping during this lecture in high school or are we so narcissistic in America that it was deemed too unimportant to include in the curriculum of basic education? Why were/are Anglo-Saxons so afraid of indigenous people, or anyone not of A-S descent for that matter? What put this insane fear into us white people?

My gut tells me it’s because somewhere deep in the subconscious we recognize that these are the people that can debunk the bullshit of organized religions and patriarchal hierarchies. These are the keepers of the Truth that remember how and why we are here, and if enough of us acknowledge that primordial Truth (because the memory will never completely leave our genes), there is fear that the Few will no longer control the Many. Oh, calamity. :rolls eyes:

Fear is such a twisted, ugly thing. Just look how it’s changed the tone of this entry already. I started out fine, now I’m pissed and upset. I don’t even want to be – this started out with a cool new word that I love the concept of. I gotta let it run its course now tho cuz I don’t want it sticking around.

Have you looked at any given politician or national religious figure lately and noticed their twisted visage compared to someone truly considered “good people?” Go look. Pay attention. The longer they’ve been at the game, and the more corrupt they are, the more twitches, the more immobility of their mouth, the more lines (aka lies) are written on their face. PR people can only hide so much with makeup and hair color and carefully chosen wardrobe. Read between the lines and on most accounts, you’ll find a shriveled, starving soul. It just makes me sad that there are so many like this. And it takes being outside that groupthink to see it. And if you’re outside, you’re spending so much time defending your position, how can you expect to live and discover and create? But that’s what they want – robots, not creators. :sigh:

My thoughts are that the solution lies in respect and acceptance among all levels of living beings. Yeah, this isn’t new info, even to me, but I’m just riding this train of thought to get it down in a communicable media because obviously there are still people out there that don’t get it and someday I hope to wake those people up.

Of course the key to respect and acceptance is an absence of fear, e.g., Love. We all have a place in the world, but our place is not all the same, and thank goodness for that! What a boring existence it would be if everyone was on exactly the same level. Peace can only come when all levels of beings respect all other levels of beings, and accept their Here-and-Now Place on Earth. That doesn’t mean they can’t move betwixt and between levels, just that whatever level they may currently be on, they still must respect the creativity of all the other levels. Guess I'm not respecting the level of the fear-mongering politicians, but it would be nice to just not have fear at all.

Humans. It’s no wonder the Gods weep sometimes. :shakes head:

Ok, I’m done with that.

~*~

I completed my 39th year on the planet yesterday, and with a gentle breath over sugar-laden candles officially celebrated my existence through another turn around the Sun. 39 doesn’t feel as old as it looks. Sometimes I wonder if because I can’t seem to sync up with the clock everyone else abides by, maybe time is counted differently for me. My hair disagrees, but there are means of persuasion for that and I’ve been considering them more seriously lately despite my vow never to go there. (Yeah, let’s pour toxic chemicals on our largest organ at the closest point to the brain! That sounds like a good idea! Take up smoking and go on a fast food diet too, why doncha? Meanwhile, Vanity whispers in my ear, “Red-gold is so much sexier than grey. No one’s gettin’ out of here alive anyway. C’mon, you know you want to.”)

The word “never” is always the kiss of death for my vows.

[Note to self: If I ever do acquiesce to marriage, make sure “never” is banned from the script!]

~*~

My Father’s Good Name is a brilliant UK duo working on their success story. The following is a reply I posted to Mike’s blog about his ex-girlfriend becoming engaged to the person she was cheating on him with. He’s hurt and angry, as anyone in that situation would be, and asks for opinions from the readers. I’m posting my reply here for archival purposes because these words reflect part of who I am and what I think about romantic relationships:

One of my most favorite sayings comes to mind here - When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Relationships are so unique, each with its own set of trials and justifications, but personally I think they are what helps us evolve most here in this Everywhen, and so they are ALL worthwhile in some way. If you can come to see them as learning opportunities, for better or worse, then you will find yourself better able to enjoy the ups, and deal with the downs more constructively.

My own view is that each person in a relationship must be a Whole unto themselves, walking along a shared path. It's more of a "you compliment me" thing than a "you complete me" thing. I'm not sure sacrifice should be part of love; compromise yes. Sacrifice implies something you don't really want to do and normally ends up in resentment. Compromise is something you're willing to do; it may be uncomfortable, but it won't violate your boundaries. It's understandable why so many people don't know where to draw their line, and no doubt the line is blurry to boot.

I cheated once in high school and it didn't involve any sex, just a date with a guy that I'd been interested in for years, but we'd only been friends up to that point. I was found out by my boyfriend, in person, and the pain it caused me to see how much I'd hurt them both made me never want to burn the candle at both ends again.

On the other hand, I seem to attract cheating men like bees to honey and I haven't yet figured out why. Perhaps it's just the lot of those born with (natural) red hair and absentee fathers? :chuckle: It's taught me that you must absolutely be honest with yourself, know your own boundaries, and accept others for who they are. And I'm still learning.

Honor your anger, but don't let it eat you up. Put a limit on how long you're willing to feel it, then do what's necessary to move on, and be firm with yourself because the temptation will be there to slip into self pity. If your relationship with this girl didn't work out, that must mean it was only meant for a short while, not forever. Forever is a very long time, and outgrowing a relationship is not a crime.

In every situation, there is much to be grateful for. Imagine what it will be like to look behind you and see this relationship from the light of something more in tune with your boundaries and beliefs. Be thankful for the songs that will come of it (just maybe a #1 hit!), and the wisdom you'll now have for application in the next relationship.

Remember you can only control YOU, and you can't go wrong if love is your true intent behind your actions. Picture holding onto the lesson while the emotions sift through your soul and back into the universe. If you retain the knowledge gained in the lesson, chances are you won't have to repeat the course. :)

~*~

My 2007 Highlight Reel:

~ Traveled to San Jose in January to visit Mom (she was there for a work project) and discovered I LOVE Santa Cruz (but San Diego would still be first choice). Successfully completed my goal of sticking my feet in both oceans in this lifetime, communed with the redwoods (which was awesome), and updated my memory of San Fran from 6th grade. Also saw (from the highway) Apple Headquarters - the Mother Ship. ::cue celestial angel choir::

~ Went to Joe’s house in SC for a weekend of solitude in February and discovered how amazing it is to get lost in the stars while sipping chai on the deck, wrapped in blankets, even when it’s only 32 degrees out.

~ Mark and I went to Tempe in March and I got to see “the old place.” Confirmed that I don’t miss it that much, although it’s great to visit while the NE is still frozen!

~ Katy turned 18 in May so she’s officially an adult (just wish she’d act more like one!).

~ Katy graduated in June (thank God!) and my goal of making sure my kid at least has a high school diploma was met.

~ Tried to go to Marie’s first anniversary party in June, but the plane got grounded because of weather and since I was on a free ticket they couldn't reroute me. This started a trend of planes being grounded when I’m on them. If you have trouble getting out of the airport, check the roster and see if I'm on your plane. I will try to break this curse in 2008.

~ Took my second trip to SC in September for a Mraz concert at Converse College. Survived heart skipping several beats. I hung around early and watched them set up hoping to run into him, but no luck. My only regret is not staying after to see if I could untie my tongue this time. We would have so much to talk about, but I feel so guilty doing that knowing he’s tired after a show and not into meeting fans at that point, then there's that chronic shyness thing. Still absolutely an AWESOME time.

~ Mark and I had a rad Halloween party and I realized how many friends I’ve made at Pearson (very cool).

~ First class trip to Dallas in November to visit Marie & Scott and attend TRF with them. Plane was only grounded for a couple hours. Met Bud “the Commander” (former Hell’s Angel) and discovered another badass biker that turned his life into something awesome (and legal). I am duly impressed. Shit, I still have to get him a Rutgers tshirt and hat as promised.

~ Awesome New Year’s Eve party with many of the same friends from Halloween, plus some that didn't make it last time. Included the shouted countdown at midnight while the ball in NYC dropped on our TV. (Not literally.) Ending the year in a Kodak moment always rules.

My new mantra for 2008: More travel, less stuff.

I’m out! Thank you New York! Goodnight!

The Terrible Twos

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/10/17/MNISSQUAE.DTL

This article made me laugh. It makes China sound like some kind of spoiled brat stamping its feet because its brother got a reward and it didn’t get anything. If China didn’t have a considerable military, I’d think eventually they will just fade into the background like a bully after high school. Unfortunately, China is more like the psycho that comes back later with a machine gun and blows away all kinds of innocent people because the insanity has been building for years and the screw that was holding it together finally fell out. If there was ever a chance for history to repeat the Hitler drama, I’d say China has a good shot at that role (with North Korea as the understudy).

Seriously tho... We’re talking about a world leader being upset about what ONE GUY is doing for lunch on a Tuesday. And the One Guy is a man whose whole existence is about peace and happiness and let’s all be friends and get along. He’s getting a medal, not exclusive information on the location of all nuclear warheads in Russia. If I were going to be worried about someone in that Lunch Duet, I’d be worried about George Bush – the decorative finial on top of the biggest superpower nation on the planet who could quite possibly go to turn on the lamp and blow up the planet by mistake. Doesn’t Hu Jintao have an audition for Geisha and the Geek* or something more important to occupy his thoughts? :shakes head:

*Yes, I know geishas are Japanese, not Chinese. It sounded good, so chalk it up to literary license.

Can I Have A Word With You?

(This was posted first on MySpace, but I'm trying to move everything over here. I haven't decided which blog to use yet either... allofapeace.com or soimarriedapornographer.com)

A word about the date: September 11 was a tragic part of our history as a nation, and a heartbreaking day for many individuals, but I do not feel there were any victims. I believe we create that which goes on around us, and although it's hard to fathom anyone would choose to live through such an event (or not), we are but mere mortals and do not always understand the bigger picture our souls are painting.

For those people that still hurt when they look at the calendar on this day, I wish you peace in your heart. The best way I've found to fill a missing peace of your heart (no spelling error there) is to focus on the good things that came from the loss. As I so often say to Katy, when you lose, don't lose the lesson.

The positives to ponder:

• It is a tribute to humanity that so many strangers worked together to protect each other. It's good to know that in times of crisis, there are many we can count on that we don't even know exist yet.
• It is inspirational to witness the continued emotional and financial support for people affected by such an enormous shift in lifestyle. The Gods bless them, may their strength endure.
• It is the most well-publicised example of Love I've seen in America in my years on the planet. Hate may have started it (no matter who was actually holding that hate), but Love always finishes it. Amen to that.

That's all I have to say about the date. Moving on...

When you’re driving somewhere you’ve never been, it’s always comforting to see signs indicating you’re still headed in the right direction.

I see life similarly. I don’t believe you can take a wrong direction (although some directions certainly lead to less desirable places than others), but most people have an idea where they want to go and they walk a path they think will get them there. It’s nice when the Universe gives you little confirmations along the way that yes, you’re still on the path you meant to be on. I’ve heard these referred to as Divine Winks, road signs, messages from God… I like the wink analogy best because it implies a wee bit more intimacy between the Universe and me, and I just know God is saucy anyway. ;)

My most recent wink came from last year’s desk calendar. It was filled with quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I’m using it again this year by folding back the calendar pages and just using the quote pages as a bit of inspiration. Yay for recycling!

September’s opening quote is:

The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.

(Words mixed with belief in omnipossibility* and a dash of faith, methinks.)

The second week’s quote is:

The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic.

This is also true. Our media has proven repeatedly that words can turn rags to riches, bring down giants, educate, entertain, and ensure your safety. As I'm sure most of us have experienced in our personal lives, words can lift you to cloud 9, send you six feet under, give you information to make decisions, and give voice to your creativity.

Obviously September has a word theme going on, but I took that as a sign to hurry up and get the blog up already. I can't believe it's been a month since I started planning this. Time slips away so fast while you're looking the other way. Finding a design coupled with all the functions I want has slowed me down a little. As long as I’m still headed in the ‘write’ direction though, it’s all good. I hope the end of this weekend will see me posting at soimarriedapornographer.com instead of here. Not that MySpace hasn't served a great purpose, but it's time to get real.

Werd.

(And no, Mark and I did not sneak off to Vegas to elope. It was just a good play on the Mike Myers movie title.)

UNPLUG ALREADY

I was on my way to work this morning, turning right on red, when my Jeep was given a serious bump from behind. The lady driving the small silver sardine can in back of me was on the phone and wasn't paying attention to the fact that I hadn't actually pulled out of her way yet. Either that, or she isn't familiar with the laws of physics.

Fortunately there was no damage to people or cars, and no need even for information exchange (the spare tire rides pretty low on the Liberty and I think that's what she hit), but this illustrates perfectly one of my pet peeves.

Phones in the car suck. HANG UP AND DRIVE ALREADY.

I love the convenience of my cell phone, but I don't feel the need to be available to everyone 24/7, and I don't understand people that can't make it through a car ride without getting on the horn. Half the time I don't even have mine turned on. It's good to unplug and disappear for awhile. Keeps people wondering what you're up to.

I do answer the phone in the car, but they are short "yes or no" conversations unless I'm on a road trip and/or my headset is on. Technology is wonderful, but it must be used with responsibility.

The lady that hit me was very nice and apologized profusely. I could tell she felt really bad, but I hope she learned something from it as well. (One of my fav quotes: When you lose, don't lose the lesson.) I decided the day could only get better from there, so that was a good thing. I couldn't help thinking about one of the Pooh stories Mom used to read to me though; Tigger falls into the river and says, "I was pushed! :humph:"

It's been a long day though and now I must get a few hours of sleep before I make the same trek again; hopefully tomorrow won't be so bumpy.