Life Reflections

I'm watching a free video series from Oprah that's available on iTunes. She calls it her Soul Series and one of the people she interviews is Eckhart Tolle. (Another one totally worth listening to is Byron Katie. I'd never heard of her before the Leadershift 2010 conference, but darnit, here is another person that has already put into a book exactly what I've been thinking for years! I've GOT to get on this author thing!) I loved Eckhart's book, A New Earth, and I highly recommend it.

In Part 2 of Oprah's interview with Tolle, she opens the phone lines so callers can ask him questions. The first caller asks him, "How do you embody what you talk about—you being free of the domination of ego? Can you please share your experience of being in the here and now."

He gives some explanation to lay out how he lives in the present moment and clarifies that he also lives with awareness of chronological time. He says the primary focus is always on the present moment. It makes life very simple (I'm paraphrasing) and can also be described as a state of surrender to life. He goes on to say if you live a life full of trouble, a very important question to ask yourself is, "What is my relationship to this moment? Am I making this moment into an enemy? Am I treating this moment as an obstacle that I need to overcome?"

Eckhart says he, personally, has a very friendly relationship with the present moment as he doesn't put the present in a negative light, as if it's something he has to endure or get through (again, paraphrasing) to get on to something happier. I can totally identify with that. I know I USED to be that way, and perhaps sometimes I fall back into it. However, for the most part since I've been in San Diego I've had plenty of challenging moments, but I've also found surrendering to them makes life easier, and friendlier (I like that description :).

Remaining present, and choosing what is happening *now* has kept my monkey mind from focusing too much on the past or future, thereby creating a problem where none exists. Problems can only exist in the future and past. There may be challenges in the present moment, but there are no problems because problems require time to build, and the present moment holds no time as we understand it, especially not enough time to build an entire problem.

So he says if you're living a stressful life, a tool to use for change is to stop and ask yourself several times a day, "'How am I relating to the present moment?' Because when you do that what you're really asking is 'What is my relationship with life?' because the present moment is essentially your life. You can only encounter your life in the present moment. So it's a vital question to ask yourself 'what is your relationship with life?' because if your life is one of hostility, which is when you make the present moment into an obstacle or an enemy, then life always reflects back to you your predominant state of consciousness."

I love how he put this particular thought - that life always reflects back to you your predominant state of consciousness. I wanted to make note of it for myself as well as share it with whoever might be reading here because I feel this is a really great way to get the idea across that YOU are creating your life. Not some guy behind a curtain or an angry old man on a throne in the sky - it's all YOU baby.

What are you reflecting today? Right now?

And what are you reflecting NOW?

How 'bout now?

How 'bout now?

Yeah, I know, I could go on with that forever. If you have trouble remembering to stop and ask yourself this question throughout the day, set a series of alarms on your phone's calendar (or something you refer to frequently to keep track of your day) to bring your focus to the present for at least those few seconds each day. Eventually you will find yourself anticipating the reminder, therefore it is already being brought to the front of your consciousness, and it will become a *good* habit. (The word "habit" has definitely earned an undeserved reputation as something negative.)

The best time to ask that question tho is *every* time you encounter change, which for most humans, is A LOT during a 24 hour period. Change can encompass something as common as a car moving into your lane on the freeway, or as large as news that changes your life. Good or bad, change creates a lot of stress for us meat suits because we are forced to adapt and evolve to fit the new situation, sometimes very quickly. It is a survival instinct to be able to do so. If your automatic reaction to change is resistance, hostility, anger, sadness or anything less than acceptance, imagine the percentage of the day you spend feeling yukky! Are you sure you want to live that way? Wouldn't you rather be happy NOW?


I hadn't really thought about how I reached the state of peace I currently enjoy 90% of the time, but looking back I suppose I just kept asking myself, "What am I feeling in this moment? Do I want to be this or happy?" I kept choosing happy until the answer was "I'm already happy and it don't get better than that!" a good majority of the time. It's a matter of continuing to bring your focus back to RIGHT NOW.

That picture of the outdoor banner over on the right side of this very blog that says,"You are here, but are you present?" That is the wallpaper on the front of my phone. Even when I'm looking at it without really seeing it, I think it taps my subconscious and says, "Pssst. Are you really present to this moment?" Like I said... it's become a habit.

I think since we're all human there will always be some times when we're less than happy, so for those perfectionists out there (me included) I have also come to realize that acceptance also means life will not be perfect 100% of the time. How boring would that be anyway? I would be surprised if even Eckhart said he's in a state of bliss 100% of the time.

I've said many times that I have gratitude for the lows because without them, how would we define and enjoy the highs? So even in sadness or anger or whatever, I realize somewhere deep down it's ok to have that too. The word AND is so much more powerful than that word OR.

Well, my thoughts are starting to fly all over and no doubt it has something to do with it being 5am. Just wanted to put that out there tho because the reflection is beautiful. :)

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, REFUSE

Dianna Cohen of the Plastic Pollution Coalition gives a 5 minute TED talk about plastics if you play the video above. Most info is already mainstream news, but the thing that stuck out to me was her suggestion of adding the fourth R to "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle"... it is REFUSE. I've refused hundreds of plastic bags (probably more like thousands with the way I shop) - not just at the grocery store, but at retail stores as well. I literally cringe when I see cashiers put one item in a bag, or even worse - double bag something! AGGHH!! I carry a Chicos Bag in my purse for those times when I forget to grab my canvas bags from under the front seat of the Jeep.

Do you think Swedish engineer, Sten Gustaf Thulin, knew what kind of evil he was creating when he came up with the white harbingers of oceanic death? (Seriously, as if Ikea isn't enough of a waste of resources. Isn't Sweden supposed to be known for its environmental consciousness and stuff? WTH?) Mobil, the most evil gas company I've ever read about, is responsible for making plastic bags a viable commodity in 1977 by overturning a patent, then the Dixie Bag Company from Georgia, along with Safeway and Kroger (et tu Vons?!) helped make "Paper or Plastic?" the most widely used phrase in America by the mid-80s. Oh yes, all this polyethylene destruction of our planet has only been since 1982. That's only TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS people. Do the math.

Anyway... I also rarely buy anything in a single use plastic bottle. I've eliminated almost all plastic from my kitchen (I LOVE those Pyrex glass storage containers with the rubber lids!), and often choose grocery items in glass containers over plastic. (Then I save the glass container for something else too!)

Some of my friends think I'm silly for making all these tiny, detail-oriented efforts to reduce my carbon footprint, but what is the price of self-respect? One person recycling may be like a drop in the ocean, but if we spread the word, pretty soon drops turn into a bucket, then a pond, then a lake... you get the idea.

Make a concept "cool" enough and it will become commonplace across the globe. How else has Starbucks built a billion-dollar business selling a ten-cent cup of coffee? Speaking of Starbucks... their current marketing campaign goes, "Take comfort in rituals." I agree! Recycling and thinking about what you're consuming is a ritual. It gives me comfort to know that even if my efforts alone don't make a big difference, I can lead by example. There's no reason I should NOT do it. Same for you.

Lots of people whine about canvas bags at the stores being inconvenient. Nothing is inconvenient if you have the right tools. Buy some reusable shopping bags and keep them in the car. (Check out street fairs and craft shows in your area to get unique cool ones AND support your local artists!) As I said, the Chico Bags are my favorite because they squish down into a very small bag of their own and are easy to carry in very little space. (All the natural foods markets seem to sell them too.) Buy a reusable water bottle (I mean c'mon - they sell them everywhere! I've even seen them at the dollar stores!) and keep it filled in your cup holder. It's better for your body to drink more water anyway! Think about the products you buy at the grocery store - is the same thing available from a company that uses glass or other materials for their packaging?

Be a muse. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, REFUSE.

C'mon People - Wake Up Already!

I was reading this article from a post on Facebook today:

Co-Founder of Veterans Group Not Surpised by Army Vet’s Rampage

I get the saying that "in order to retain peace, you must be prepared for war." But no one wins in war. NO ONE. Governments perpetuate the need for violence to serve their own purposes under the guise of serving the people. But how is it serving the people when veterans are treated like expendable property, asked to commit crimes against humanity, then left to deal with the demons created by the acts they are forced to perform? And yet, if we laid down arms, it doesn't mean Global Peace because we live in a bi-polar world where in order to define "good" we must have "bad." And each individual thinks the only "good" way to live is our own way, which means anything other than that individual's way (or group's way) is "bad." (How narcissistic.) The only solution to the problem is for all humans to transcend history and live only in the Now - acceptance and tolerance of all ways of life (live and let live, what a concept) - but how do you get 7 billion people to wake up at once? Until they do, you have situations like this. It's just a microcosm of the macrocosm.

Change for the Dining Room

How To Profit From Your Insanity

Step 1: Have original dining room set that is pub height and decide if you want to work at the table instead of at your desk for a change of scenery, you really need a regular height dining set so you can put your feet on the floor.

Step 2: Put Pub Dining Set on Craigslist. Receive emails of interest.

Step 3: Take pub height dining set OFF Craigslist and tell all interested parties it's sold because you cant bear to part with it since you like the colors so much and the table is really a perfect size (36" x 48") which is hard to find.

Step 3 1/2: Take six months to vacillate on whether or not you really really need to change that dining set while squirming on the seats trying to work long hours. Spend more hours pouring over Craigslist finding nothing that you like as much or better than your current set.

Step 4: Decide you're being stupid and put Pub Dining Set BACK on Craigslist. Obviously, there's no way you're going to find the shorter set you want if the old set is still occupying the space and sending out energy to the Universe saying it's here to stay.

Step 5: Finally find an acceptable normal-height espresso colored dining set with a table that is exactly the same dimensions as the pub height table. Buy Espresso Dining Set 1 for $100. Put Pub Dining Set in the spare bedroom until it sells.

Step 6: Decide the wood chairs in Espresso Dining Set 1 are too hard to sit on. You need cushioned chairs.

Step 7: Buy blonde wood chairs with cushioned seats and backs because they're an excellent deal at $80 for all four and are almost like new. Figure you'll have The Most Amazing Boyfriend Ever, who can fix anything, stain all the legs to the espresso color you want. Put chairs from Espresso Dining Set 1 in spare bedroom with the Pub Dining Set until you resell them.

Step 8: Realize The Most Amazing Boyfriend Ever has too many things going on right now to deal with a bunch of legs, even if they are attached to four blondes.

Step 9: Find a set of chairs just like the blonde chairs, but with espresso legs and tan cushions (and be very pleased to see the tan fabric looks even better than the lighter fabric of the blonde chairs). Unfortunately two of them need their seat springs repaired, but at only $30 you're already seeing the profit you'll make selling all those other chairs that didn't work out. Besides, surely it's less work for The Most Amazing Boyfriend Ever to fix the springs in two chairs rather than stain 16 pieces of wood!

Step 10: Sit on the two "good" espresso and tan chairs and realize perhaps the springs in those aren't really what you wanted either since they are literally bouncy like a trampoline. Suddenly $30 seems like a lot for these chairs.

Step 11: Go back to craigslist and find Espresso Dining Set 2 with chairs that look just like the damaged ones (but are in truly great shape) and a table that looks just like the one from Espresso Dining Set 1. Figure you can pick the best of the two tables to keep, and pair up the rejected one with the hard wood chairs from Espresso Dining Set 1, thereby creating Espresso Dining Set 2.5. Add to your profit by talking the seller down $30 so you've only spent $170 on Espresso Dining Set 2.

Step 12: Move the NEW espresso and tan chairs into your dining room and put the damaged ones just like them in the spare room that is now officially looking like a furniture warehouse. Decide the table from Espresso Dining Set 1 is better, and put the table from Espresso Dining Set 2 in the garage since it won't fit in the spare bedroom o' furniture.

You now have two complete dining sets (plus the one you're keeping) and eight extra chairs in your warehouse... err... I mean Home With Only One Dining Room. (We wont mention the three ceiling fans that were all also excellent deals but have not been put up yet - one of which is The Most Amazing Boyfriend Ever's.)

Step 13: Realize your daughter is arriving for a visit in only a week, and she might enjoy sleeping on a bed instead of a table and chairs.

Step 14: Move all furniture out of the spare bedroom into the garage to put the intention out to the Universe that this stuff HAS GOT TO GO, and fast. List everything on craigslist and pray it will leave in a week so you don't look like you need Craigslist Anonymous when your kid gets here.

Step 15: Make appointment with a lady that wanted a duvet cover you thought would never sell. End up talking her into taking three more pieces from your linen closet AND Espresso Dining Set 2.5! Woo! Unfortunately you had to let the dining set go for the same price you paid for Espresso Dining Set 1, so you haven't made a profit yet except on the linens, which really don't count for the dining room accounting. It's okay tho, because at least it's out of your house and you're on your way to covering up your insanity.

Step 16: Sell the blonde chairs for $100 AND get to charge $10 for delivery. NOW you're making money! You are also four chairs closer to getting your garage back.

Step 17: Sell the Pub Dining Set AND get to charge a delivery fee on that one too! Except oops... you're a wimp and end up telling the woman you'll deliver it for free because she hesitates and you are desperate to have it out of your house. You redeem yourself somewhat by standing strong on the $225 price, which is more than your mother originally paid for it brand new from the store. You are officially out of the red now.

Step 18: Sell damaged espresso and tan chairs for $40 plus a $10 delivery fee, almost doubling your money there for a bad investment. Go you!

Step 19: Reclaim your garage and offer huge thanks to the Universe for unbelievably obtaining your goal of selling it all with two days to spare. In the meantime, also sell a few other small items that don't really count for the dining room overall, but that definitely covered all gas costs in this endeavor, making you feel justified in claiming the delivery fees as profit.

So the final accounting goes:

Bought
$100.00    Espresso Dining Set 1
    80.00    Blonde chairs
    30.00    Damaged chairs
  170.00    Espresso Dining Set 2
-----------
$380.00  

Sold
$100.00    Espresso Dining Set 1
  110.00    Blonde chairs
    50.00    Damaged chairs
  225.00    Pub Dining Set
----------
$485.00    

For a profit of: $105 and a new, cushioned dining set that is the height you need to double as your second home office.

The best part is everyone wins. I'm happy with making a bit of money and having fun changing up my furniture, and the people buying are happy and thinking they got a good deal because they're just not as good at Craigslist as I am. :)

New Dining Room For The Win!

Now the living room chairs are a whole other story...

Choose What's Happening Now

What would all the do-gooders worry about if suddenly all the bad guys became reformed and the world was at peace? Not that I would mind finding out, but sometimes I have to wonder if we "suffer," or view others as "suffering," simply because we are not being present in the moment, choosing whatever our life looks like right then.