Wisdom from the Shower

Just a short insight I had as a result of thinking about a new friend's comment about wanting to change the world:

Personally, I don't want to change the world. I just want to be myself and hope that I am an example others would want to follow. If your own choices will lead to your success or failure, and the only one you can control is you, it makes no sense to try to change the world because then you're depending on others to define your success. Could you be happy that way?

Update: More contemplation led to a thought-full footnote...

If everyone walks their talk, the world will change itself, thus you've accomplished the same goal as my friend, but you've done it with less effort. And the Universe loves the path of least resistance, right?

I guess this is really the same as saying "Be the change you want to see in the world," but it also explains why "being the change" works.

Manifest Destiny

So what about this great place I’ve landed in? "Far out" is exactly what it is, but in a "totally rad" California-good way. :D

The movers delivered my belongings the very next day, after I agreed to pay their full ridiculous price. The only other option was they unload everything into storage and we argue over it in court. Stuff is simply not worth all that negative vibe to me. At first I told the guy to just keep it all – I wasn’t paying, but I only half meant it. I probably would’ve gotten over the loss (I find my attachment to things is shallow – out of sight, out of mind, with very few exceptions), but I knew it would end up in court because they would want the rest of their money and who wants all that hassle? Not me. I will probably end up suing them in small claims for the difference because I can’t afford to be an extra $1600 in debt, but confrontation is so not my bag. In fact, I dunno why I’m even headed down that thought path because it stresses me out. I wanna write about the fun stuff.

In the Now, let’s check out my list of what I was hoping for in my new address, down to the silly (and sometimes unreasonable) details:

• Washer/dryer – check
• 2 bathrooms – check
• Lots of space (including closets and storage) – check
• Kitchen sink: double sided porcelain, not stainless steel (I’m weird like that) – check
• Dishwasher – check
• Gas stove – this one’s electric. I can deal.
• Fireplace – check (I don’t care if I never use it, it looks cool. ☺)
• Offstreet parking for 2 cars (the Universe is like, “does a garage work for you?” Uhh, YES!) – check
• Tile or wood floors, but carpet in the bedrooms – check (they’re tile)
• Individual owner, not a management company – check
• Viewable stars in the night sky (the sky at Mom’s house in New Mexico spoiled me, but there’s at least as many stars here on a clear night as NJ had) – check
• Small town atmosphere that’s still convenient to shopping and daily needs – check
• Organic grocery – check check check (I think there are more organic stores here than “normal” ones)
• Color in the vegetation – (is there ever NOT color here?) check!

In other words, I was blessed with EVERYTHING I wanted, including stuff I didn’t really expect, but wished for anyway. (Ok, except the stove. It still heats my tea water, so I'll survive.)

I was gifted with things I didn’t even think of as well: I’m surrounded by horse ranches and golf courses, which makes for a beautiful drive in every direction, and the energy of affluent people due to the nature of those businesses. There are Golden Eagles - EAGLES! - that fly around here all the time. I’ve heard their cries, and the other day I saw one circling the house. WOW. Talk about powerful energy.

What I didn’t get, but then I didn’t ask for it either, was central heat and air conditioning. This place is a little weird that way, but I chalk it up to the Cosmic Sense of Humor. I mean technically, I didn't ask for it, right? One should never assume.

The heat is radiant heat (not forced air), and Kathy told me it’s in the ceiling. Makes no sense to have it there since heat rises, but I guess back in the 80s when the condo was built, they were still learning. I’m not sure how warm downstairs will be in the winter (upstairs will probably be fine), but then it probably gets down to a chilly 60° on the worst winter day here, so I’m not anticipating much of a problem, even though I’m one of those people that’s always cold. I still have all my thick northeast sweaters and my space heaters. Perhaps I’ll get some use out of them.

I’ve unpacked most of the boxes and pretty well settled in. I’ve been abusing craigslist, replacing many of the things I sold before I left, enjoying the hunt for deals and driving around to pick things up. Turns out furnishing your home from craigslist is an excellent way to learn your way around a new city. It’s almost like living in a rat maze – if you take all the right turns, you get a treat at the end! Unfortunately, the people waiting with the treat don’t like accepting payment in rat poop. Shame that, because I’m RICH in rat poop thanks to my fuzzy brats.

A couple Sundays after I got here I went to Encinitas to pick up a rug for the dining room and passed a sign for Moonlight Beach. I’d heard of it before because Switchfoot (my second most favorite band ever) puts on a benefit concert there once a year, and I planned to go but then I chose to stay in New Mexico for that week instead so I missed it. (Ok, yeah, Jason was supposed to play too, but in this case it really wasn't just him I was going to see.)

After stuffing the rug in the back of the Jeep, I thought I would “just go check out the ocean, then go home.” HA. Two hours and a mile or so later, I came back with a wicked sunburn, but I don’t regret it a bit.

As expected, most people were within 100 yards of the beach entrance so I walked a little ways down the shoreline to admire the view in peace. However, something about the atmosphere fostered an otherworldly, dreamlike state and I was loathe to break it so I just kept walking. As I wandered down the sand, it was hard to decide whether to absorb the geology of the cliffs to my right with the wonder of the mansions sitting atop them, or the vast, commanding presence of the ocean to my left. I was walking between the perfect opposition of Earth and Water with a clear, blue Sky overhead. (I guess that makes me the Fire element – no wonder I got burned!) Time was easily suspended. Being in that space, one would be hard-pressed not to feel close to whatever name you lay on God.

In those moments, all my doubts about moving here were sucked into the undertow and I recognized it was that which drove me. The feeling I get when I know I’m completely in the right place, no matter what chaos happened in getting there or what chaos may lie beyond it – experiencing that connection was/is the reason for all the sorting, packing, leaving work/friends/family, driving through tornadoes and deserts, sneaking animals into hotels... When I started this adventure, I knew I would find it – I counted on it. I just didn’t know when or where it would show up. I certainly lost sight of it when I arrived, but I kept my faith in what I set out to do, and that unyielding knowing is what I was after. It was in that very moment, standing before Big Blue that I knew down to the cellular level: This was SO worth it.

I even snapped a pic and sent it to Jenn with those very words. ☺

Yeah, you know, that is such a powerful feeling I can’t even think what to write next, so I’ll leave it be until tomorrow. It’s 5 am anyway and I need to sleep a little before work. If you’ve ever had that feeling you know what I’m talking about. If not, you’ll get there with faith.

Trust in your Self.

How I Got Here

I’m in the papasan chair on my back patio. Incense mixes with the scent of oleanders to tickle my nose, and low music hums a background for the bugs serenading the almost-full moon over my left shoulder. The sun exited the stage long ago to party with the other side of the globe for awhile, and the breeze has dropped along with the temp. It may sound like a big ol’ cliché, but it’s very peaceful. Okay, oleanders don’t really smell much, but it sounded good, right? And the rest is all true. ☺

I was trying to read a book, but my mind would not stay still. All these phrases and words fill my head that have nothing to do with the story and I feel the need to write, so I’ve grabbed the laptop and here we are. Finally. I know it’s about time, but Time? Pssshhhhh. What a concept.

In my last post, our hero (::Ego’s hand shoots up::) was waiting to hear about which of two places I would call home. I mentioned that I ended up in Bonsall, but it was interesting how all that came down.

On Friday the 13th of June I was pretty far down in the dumps about San Diego. It was not what I expected, and I was not finding any places to live that met my criteria and my snobby tastes, and that were in my price range. The situation was bleak.

Mom and I decided to hunt in Escondido that day. After driving by a couple “no way” properties and playing phone tag with a condo owner, we happened upon a house on East 10th Street in Old Escondido. It was almost 5:00, but we called the realtor’s number on the sign anyway. The girl was about to leave for the day, so she gave us the lock box code and said to call on Monday if we liked it. I wasn’t sure I could wait that long and the rent was way above what I could even consider, but we went in anyway.

I fell in love with the house. I thought surely this was the place I was meant to be in for a couple reasons. First, the address was 221 and 21 has been my lucky number for a very long time. Second, there were dragonflies. (For those reading here for the first time, dragonflies have been one of my totems for about 12 years.)

The house was built in the 30s and had a couple very charming features, one of which was an old-fashioned doorbell that looked like windchimes hanging in a recessed niche in the wall. Under the doorbell, the owner had left a decorative row of hooks like you’d put keys on, and the hooks were all dragonflies. I actually have a very similar key rack already. I took this as a sign.

Further exploration showed the house had 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths. It also already had the 2” wood slat blinds I was picturing in my new place. The front and back were beautifully landscaped (if a bit dry from neglect), and there was an orange tree and an apricot tree in the backyard, just off the HUGE redwood deck. I was already picturing the BBQs and parties on that deck!

I grabbed my camera and took all kinds of pictures so I could concentrate on manifesting our living there. It was WAY above what I could afford tho. (Jenn: I still have to send you the pic of the dark raspberry faux finish walls in the kitchen – I knew you would get such a kick out of them!)

Mom convinced me to call the realtor and offer a deal since the house had been standing empty for a month. I tried, but it went right to voice mail, which was already full so I couldn’t even leave a message. I was disappointed, but finding something I liked that well gave me hope, and I was in desperate need of that!

Since The House was so far above my price range, I had to continue looking just in case. That night I reluctantly got on craigslist again and started making a list of places to view the next day. My attitude deteriorated quickly when most of the ads showed I would have a hard time affording anything decent in the areas I objected to the least.

I came across one ad though for a condo in Bonsall. I thought, “Where the hell is Bonsall?” As I wrote the information on my tablet, I had the same prickly feeling I got when I read the ad for the first apartment we moved to in Midland Park.

I let thinking cloud over my intuition though because I was so set on the Escondido house, and I scoffed at the idea of knowing where I was going to live before I even saw it. Nevertheless, I emailed the ad, wrote down the phone number, and starred it on my paper because at 1440 square feet, at least it would be a LOT of space.

The next morning we decided to view Bonsall first as it was the farthest property out. I tried calling the number in the ad, only to be told the lady was away until the afternoon. We decided to go check it out from outside anyway in case it wasn’t worth pursuing based on the neighborhood. Getting there seemed to take forever and I was already saying to myself, “There’s no way I’m living this far out with gas prices how they are.”

We found the street, but couldn’t tell which unit was the one from the ad. There were several for sale, and a couple for rent, but none of the phone numbers matched up. Still, it was a nicer area than I anticipated so it was not counted out. We moved on, looking at several more places in the surrounding towns.

We finally connected with Kathy, the property owner, later that evening and agreed to drive out to Bonsall again to view the condo Monday morning. She sounded like a really nice lady on the phone and again my intuition prickled, but the brain was on override for the Escondido house.

The second drive to Bonsall didn’t seem as far because we knew where we were going this time, even though we came in from a different direction. The beauty of the area was not lost on me as we passed a golf course and drove along a palm tree-lined road right out of the movies.

When I walked in the door I was pleasantly reminded of just how much space 1440 SF is. The master bedroom had TWO closets (read: I don’t have to sell half my wardrobe!), the floor was all tile (except the bedrooms), and the two full baths right off each bedroom were definitely appealing, not to mention all the storage space I’d have in the garage. It didn’t have a washer/dryer or even a refrigerator yet, but Kathy assured us all those appliances were coming. They were shooting for a July 1 move in date, but I needed it before then.

I explained my hurry with the movers on their way, wanting to deliver in the next couple days. (Not to mention Wilbur’s recent escape reminded me I was on borrowed time for getting those brats back in their regular cages.) Kathy was super accommodating and said if I could get all my information to her, she would process my application immediately, and if I didn’t mind living without appliances for a few days she didn’t mind me moving in early. We got along famously, which is always valuable in a landlord-tenant relationship. I was still hoping that Escondido house would come through, but somewhere deep down I already knew where this was headed.

The next day Mom and I had to switch hotels because I was out of free nights for the first place. We went through the process of sneaking all the animals out of the first hotel and into the second. “On edge” didn’t begin to cover the mood I was in, but it went smoothly.

I was just beginning to relax when the movers called saying they wanted to deliver that day. I still didn’t have an address. I also still had not resolved the bullshit they pulled by loading all my stuff on the truck in Jersey, THEN telling me the price would be almost twice what they quoted. When I objected, they offered to unload the truck back into the house – at 11pm on the night before I’m supposed to drive cross country. Like that was even an option.

They know they have you by the balls once your stuff is on the truck – I’ve read about this scam - but I thought since they had “Not to exceed” on the estimate that they would honor that. Ha. Guess not. What was I supposed to do? I signed the paper (the “new” contract with the “new” price), but I signed under duress (and that’s exactly what I’ll tell the judge when I see them in court).

I brought that up with the owner of the company, who was the one calling to find out where to deliver. We argued, he hung up on me, and I wondered if it would be months and a court verdict before I saw my stuff again. Nothing like a little drama to raise the blood pressure.

After hanging up, I decided I wasn’t going to let this ruin the roll I was on. I gathered all the information Kathy needed and sent it to her. Then I crossed my fingers and called Cheryl, the owner of the Escondido house.

Cheryl wasn’t thrilled about the lower rent I was proposing since they apparently bought when the market was high and had a big mortgage. She said my offer didn’t cover her expenses, but asked me to send my information anyway and she would take a look at it and decide. She and her husband live in Virginia; he is military and was transferred there unexpectedly, leaving them with the vacant California residence.

I know I don’t look good on paper because of past financial mistakes and a low credit score thanks to unemployment a couple years ago. I tried to really impress upon her what a great tenant I am, but it’s harder to do over the phone than in person. I was much more successful at that with Kathy. When Cheryl and I finished talking, I finally admitted to myself that I knew where I was going to end up, and I just had to accept it. Bonsall seemed kinda far out, but it wasn’t the end of the world. And hey, “if you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space” anyway.

Kathy called me shortly thereafter and said even though her property manager advised her against renting to me based on my crappy credit (and who could blame them?), she was going with her gut because she liked me, so I could have the condo, and the truck could deliver the next day. I was enormously grateful, but not surprised.

What surprised me was the tidal wave of relief at hearing those words. It was like that first gasping intake of air as you break above the water when you’ve been held under too long. I guess being homeless is more of a weight to carry than I anticipated. At least with six animals riding along, and an angry trucking company on your ass it is.

Almost immediately after I hung up from Kathy, Cheryl called back and turned me down. I wasn’t surprised about that either. She said she had received another offer for the full rent they were asking, so they had to go with that person.

I knew it wasn’t true and I confirmed that a few weeks later. I was in Escondido shopping and went by the house out of curiosity. It was still empty with the sign out front. It seemed sad so I tried to fill it with good energy. I felt bad for it because it’s a super cute place and it deserves an awesome person to love and care for it. I hope the good energy will attract the perfect person. I can’t say I have regrets tho because I know Bonsall is right where I belong. How do I know? I’m here.

So that’s how I ended up on the patio behind the oleanders, listening to the crickets and typing away on my Mac.

More tomorrow...

Betwixt and Between

Have I used that title before? It's one of my favoritest phrases.

I swear I haven't fallen off the side of the Earth. There have been so many things I wanted to write about but writing eats up hours of my time because I'm a perfectionist, and much as I love communicating with whomever is reading and my Higher Self, I'm still unpacking and sorting, trying to get 8 hours of work in every day, and running all the errands that come with fitting yourself into a new place in a new life in a new city. I make a LOT of U-turns, but fortunately they're allowed at just about any intersection in San Diego. Another couple days, then I'll be settled and I can give a real update.

Real quick though (because I'm a writer and this is what happens when I start!): I ended up in the condo in Bonsall. It was my second choice, but thoughts of the Escondido house faded fast when I realized this is definitely where I was meant to be. I'm not disappointed. The location rocks and when I think about it, I got everything in this place that I asked the Universe for down to the details (except central A/C and heat - and in fairness I didn't specifically ask for that, I kind of assumed, so I guess that's a cosmic joke on me). It's a little further out, but not too far. It's so QUIET at night (not even bug sounds!) but that's okay. I take any excuse to drive around because the geography is AMAZING in this area. I can't wait to post pictures.

The first week when I moved in the weather was much like Hell (read: Phoenix), but then the Universe relented and it's been everything San Diego is known for since. I actually have to put on a sweatshirt at night. It's JULY people! A sweatshirt in JULY. I'm not complaining! I'm just amazed! It's warm during the day. Last week it was so perfect (highs of mid-70s all week) that I never turned on the A/C units, but this week has been at 80° in the afternoon, and the chinnies get uncomfortable so I turn one on for them.

Ok, if I don't stop here I'll write for hours then be mad because I'll be working until 5am again tomorrow. Soon though, I swear. I have so much to tell. It's piling up in my head. I'm gonna have to start wearing hats to hold it together.

Until then...

Do Not Use Crown Royal Moving of Brooklyn NY

I am posting this narrative of my experience with Crown Royal Moving, located at 56 48th Street in Brooklyn, NY, web site at http://movingroyal.com, because I HOPE it will help someone else NOT be scammed by this company.

I will be filing complaints against them with several federal and local organizations, plus as many web sites as I can find that report bad movers.

I would like to point out that the loading and delivery crews were polite (with the exception of Eric Lucci once he found out I would not easily agree to their inflated price), and there were only two broken things on the truck, both of which were minor.

My belongings were delivered promptly, but only after I had no choice but to finish paying their inflated price because the owner (Vili) would not honor the BINDING PRICE ESTIMATE with the NOT TO EXCEED AGREEMENT that was promised to me. I don't think my review or my filed complaints should reflect on the individuals that drove the truck, or that loaded/unloaded. My grievances are solely with the owner of the company, Vili, and the managers involved with estimating and managing my move (Paul Towber and Eric Lucci).

Here is what I'm posting for others to read about this company on the scammer lists:

Order #W664077
NYDOT # T37074 - NYDOT # 1230294
ICC MC # 486301
Move Out Date: May 30, 2008

I received an original estimate from Paul Towber for 6000 lbs. He said the cost to move CROSS COUNTRY would be $3500. I found that hard to believe since the other moving companies I'd received estimates from ranged from $5000 - $7000. Paul said Crown Royal Moving could provide the move cheaper because they were the actual freight company, not a middle man that gave estimates, then found a freight company like them to move the load.

I told Paul that if he would provide a NOT TO EXCEED agreement, then I would go with Crown Royal Moving instead of a trusted name like United Van Lines or North American (both of which I had much higher estimates from). He wrote on the Crown Royal estimate, in his own handwriting, that the estimated price was a BINDING PRICE and NOT TO EXCEED $3500. I asked if he was sure that would hold up since it was only handwritten on the document and he said it would. The document does actually have "Binding Estimate of Cost" printed across the top. He said if I had any trouble, I was to give him a call.

Moving day came and the truck was four hours late in arriving. Due to this they did not finish loading my things until 11pm at night. Once they had everything on the truck, Eric Lucci, who was the Sales Manager in charge of the loading crew, told me I had exceeded the allowed space and therefore the price would go up. I told him Paul had given me a NOT TO EXCEED agreement written on the estimate, and I showed him the paperwork. He said he could not honor that price or the Not to Exceed promise, and my only choices were to sign the paper agreeing to pay the inflated price of $5250 or they would unload all my things from the truck back into the house. I argued about the legality of a binding price, but he said since it was so late at night, he couldn't do anything about getting it approved with the owner - either I had to sign the agreement for $5250 or they would unload my things. I signed under duress. Eric told me to call the owner when I got to California and straighten it out.

I called the owner (I think his name was Vili) once I had found a place to deliver my things. Vili was very rude about the price and would not honor the Not To Exceed Agreement. I called Paul and he told me he would talk to Vili but Paul didn't call back. I finally called again since the driver of the truck was calling me repeatedly asking for an address, but Paul would no longer answer my calls.

Vili insisted I either pay him $2500, which was the remainder of the $5250 price, or he would unload my things into a storage unit until I did pay him, and then I would owe the storage cost plus a second moving cost, or if I never paid any of it then I would just lose all my stuff.

Obviously I had no choice and ended up releasing the funds to him on my credit card.

I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER USE THIS COMPANY AGAIN. I was unable to sue them in small claims court for the difference between the $3500 estimate with a Not To Exceed Agreement, and the Final Cost of $5250 because I would've had to file in NY and attend court there, and I couldn't afford to fly back to represent myself or hire a lawyer on my behalf.

DO NOT USE THIS COMPANY.

Please contact me for scanned copies of the paperwork to prove my story.