Brain: Eat something healthy. There's apples - have one of those.
Stomach: Ok. But only if we put the butterscotch caramel on them that we were thinking about the other day when we bought the apples.
Brain: No. That's not healthy.
Stomach: Well YOU were the one thinking about it.
Brain: Yes, but it's not healthy.
Stomach: Screw that. Hey Arm - get the caramel out of the frig.
::Arm goes digging for caramel in frig::
Brain: There's organic peanut butter in here. That's much healthier. Put that on the apples instead.
Stomach: NO WAY!
Brain: Jason Mraz would eat peanut butter instead of caramel.
Stomach: Pffffttt. You're just trying to trick me! He can't be a nutritional saint 100% of the time.
Brain: How do you ever expect to lose those extra five pounds if you eat caramel instead of peanut butter?
Stomach: It's OCTOBER. Apples and caramel go together in October.
Brain: That's a crappy excuse.
Stomach: Will be when *I'm* done with it.
Brian: hardee har har. Eat the peanut butter.
Brain: Karma is a bitch. You've met her before.
Stomach: I promise to stop eating sugar tomorrow.
"...and that's how I got here. How did YOU end up in this handbasket?" I asked.