Monday, August 03, 2009

For The Boys

The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love - the same love that is motivating your questioning - immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.

It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you gave her love or analyzed her when she is upset. It’s so easy to give her love; it’s what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That’s exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the situation worse, most of the time.

- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man


Things I'm thankful for today:

1. Someone in my life who is amazingly good at the very thing quoted above.
2. The washer and dryer in my garage.
3. Awesome photographers.
4. Green.
5. Happiness.
6. Socks right out of the dryer.


Unknown said...

oh........were it always that simple ..........

wylde otse said...

One thing a friend asked of me is not to be judged. That really seems to work for her. I suppose that is the same as asking to be loved unconditionally. Which I have learned to do. It seems to me that when I am on good terms with my friends, my life is good. She asked me some time ago why I loved her; I said I didn't know. She seemed satisfied with that.She is one of my long time good friends, but not physically intimate.

I learned later that if we love someone for physical beauty, then it may be that love fades along with it, in time. Thanks for the reminder, about the love part.

In this life, in this world, I agree that the most important thing we need is to be (not possessed but) loved.

Unknown said...

And the really amazing thing about women's ideas of love is how absolutely inaccessible those mixtures of romantic nonsense can be for the average jerk who knows damned little of his mother's fantasies....sometimes its all a bit like hide and seek.....rather silly and certainly contrived.

draagonfly said...

Yes, to all of that! Love is the most wonderful and frustrating thing at the same time. :)